Tanis is a 30-year-old social worker who lives in St. James Town. She says she is “a nerd, but sassy. Honesty has gotten me into plenty of trouble, but I don’t take any bullshit.” Tanis blogs, travels, and reads cooking magazines in her free time, and is looking for a life partner. “I want someone to laugh and enjoy life with,” she says. “How cliché.” She met Darren on OkCupid.
Darren was my online “quiver match” and a tall, skinny white guy, which is totally my cup of tea. He seemed to want the same things in life as me, and was clever and levelheaded. We were going to meet up when he was finished moving into his new place, but I had spent the day hanging out with a group of my girlfriends, laughing, eating and drinking, so I texted him a cute shot of me with “vacation hair” to entice him to come out. It was really late and raining by then, but I thought it would be fun. At that point, I’d had about five glasses of wine and enough food to feed three grown men.
I didn’t realize I had overdone it until I left to meet up with him—around 1:30 in the morning. I noticed Darren getting off the streetcar at the corner, but he walked right by me. I’m 5’1″ and he said he was “expecting someone taller.” When he figured it out, we hugged and went to a pub for a drink. He was sweet and I liked him, but by then, I was focusing hard on just getting through the date.
I ordered water. I was giggly and had a hard time concentrating on what he was saying. I barely remember what we talked about. Darren quickly finished his beer since the server kept giving us his best “Get the hell out” face—it was after last call. He offered to walk me home and I agreed, but as soon as we started, I felt like I was going to throw up. I asked him to walk a few steps ahead of me in case I threw up on the sidewalk. I slowed down and breathed in and out a few times, and popped a piece of gum, which felt a bit better. We talked and the conversation was easy. I’m a chatter, especially when I’m drunk.
I think Darren knew I was hammered and thought it was funny. He laughed at my stupid drunk jokes. When we got to my place, he put his arms around me and kissed me gently. He started to feel me up a bit, and I know he wanted an invitation inside, but I felt hot and nauseous and started to throw up in my mouth, so I pushed his arms off of me and ran into my building. As soon as I got upstairs, I barged into the bathroom, threw up a few times, and then fell asleep.
I only remembered Darren’s face and his smile, and that he had nice hands. A few days later, he texted me and we went on a proper date at 7 West. We dated for over a year. Even though I was drunk, I had managed to impress him.
Tanis rates her date (out of 10): 3
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