Roseanne is a 28-year-old account manager who lives in Leaside. She describes herself as very independent and strong-willed, and enjoys travelling and hanging out with her friends. She says, “My concept of relationships, and what I’m looking for, has become a moving target. I’m not sure whether it’s my expectations or the male population that needs to adjust.” She met Chris through a mutual friend.
The night I met Chris was one with the exact right mix of people—one that you never want to end. We all found ourselves being kicked out of the pub long past closing, but even afterwards, Chris and I lingered on the sidewalk to talk. The vibe was intense. We became Facebook friends soon after.
Six weeks later, he got a hold of me and we finally decided to go out. He let me choose the place, and we ended up at Cold Tea. The connection was strong, just like when we met, from start to finish. We drank a lot, and the conversation carried into the early hours of the morning. After the bar, holding hands, he walked me home, and we ended the night with a few hours in my apartment. It was nice to be reminded that dating can happen by gut instinct, instead of The Bachelor–style, where people judge each other based on intensive analysis. I felt like Chris was changing my heart, and making me believe in magic again.
The next day, when I was gushing about our night to a mutual friend, she told me that Chris’s “ex” wasn’t really his ex at all—not only was he still dating her, but they lived together. I was shocked, and I asked her and our other mutual friends for more information. It turned out they had been dating since high school. Apparently, the relationship had some serious issues, and moving in together had added to the problems.
When Chris called me to hang out again, I didn’t mention the girlfriend. I was hoping that their relationship would dissolve without us having to talk about it. It seemed to me that if he was willing to be with me, he must be close to ending things with her.
When I finally confronted Chris after two more amazing dates—and a lot of denial—he dodged the question. It took until our fourth date before we had our first honest conversation about it. He had the nerve to be upset when I wouldn’t sleep with him. When I told him to leave, he owned up to everything. He said he had feelings for me, and that he knew it couldn’t go on like this.
I expected Chris to break up with his girlfriend over the next few weeks, but nothing happened. We still saw each other and hooked up a couple times, but I started saying no to his requests for dates pretty soon after that. Dating is complicated. Boy meets girl and boy likes girl and they live happily after doesn’t seem to happen anymore.
Roseanne rates her date (out of 10): 3
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