Nicole is a 22-year-old office manager who lives in The Beach. She says that her friends would describe her as witty, wild, analytical, and ambitious. She also loves cocktails, good company, and live music. “At the office,” she says, “I got voted ‘biggest drama queen’ and ‘most up for anything.’”
I met Jim during a random Tinder binge. He was very forward about his interest in me, had a great body, and our conversation was genuinely smart and funny, which is rare on Tinder. I gave him my number. We texted for a few weeks and made plans to grab drinks at an intimate pub. When I walked in, I saw Jim sitting with another man. Right away, it seemed weird, but I let it go because I thought he may have run into someone he knew. I sat down, but Jim’s “friend” didn’t leave. He didn’t explain who he was, or why he was there. Red flag number one.
Jim was very attractive. He was super-big on intense eye contact, which I found sexy, and he laid on the compliments pretty heavily. The conversation flowed smoothly, and it was fun to flirt with both guys, but I felt a little overwhelmed—they both seemed to be aggressively hitting on me at once.
After a few beers, Jim looked at me very intently and asked what I thought about the “dynamic” between the three of us. That should have been another huge red flag, but I assumed he was joking. Things got weirder when a woman appeared at our table and sat next to Jim. I was confused, but assumed she was Jim’s friend’s girlfriend. Then I noticed that Jim was stroking her thigh.
I was busy plotting my exit and sending “SOS” and “WTF” texts to my friends when Jim asked me if I was bisexual. I’m not, and I jokingly asked him if he was bisexual. Then he said, “This is my girlfriend. Didn’t I tell you that?” I think the woman noticed the look of horror and confusion on my face, because she began apologizing for him. She told me that they are polyamorous.
I waited for a few minutes while the two bickered. I actually started to have a bit of an anxiety attack about the reveal. At some point, I regained composure, thanked them for their time, and sprinted to the streetcar stop.
The next day, Jim explained via text that he and his girlfriend date other women, both together and separately. He also told me his friend was not part of their polyamorous relationship. Somehow, it had slipped his mind to notify me of his situation earlier, but he wanted to see me again.
I briefly flirted with the idea of hanging out with Jim again. He’s hot, and I think the polyamory concept is fascinating. But the whole “luring me into a possible orgy situation” was fucked. Deception is a turn-off.
Nicole rates her date (out of 10): 2
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