Mike is a 25-year-old consultant who lives in Queen West. He says, “I have no style; I just kind of wear what I think might be presentable.” Mike is frequently told by others that he is “very patient,” and describes himself as quiet, but confident. He likes to play baseball and cook, and has been single for about a year. He met Erin on OkCupid.
Erin didn’t respond to my first message, but I shrugged it off. Without realizing it, I sent her a second message a few weeks later and was met with one of the kindest, funniest replies I’ve ever read. She apologized for missing my previous message, saying that she had intended to write me back, but got caught up with something.
Erin had great curves and a cute smile. We’re the same ethnicity, which used to be a big deal for me, but isn’t so much anymore. I found her incredibly attractive. She gave me her number and I asked her to have dinner with me.
We went to a trendy restaurant downtown and had a really good time. I knew that I liked her, even though she seemed reserved and a bit naïve. On our second date, the vibe was more flirty, but she still seemed to be holding back. I couldn’t shake the feeling that something was a bit off with her. It didn’t really matter, because after the second date, I wasn’t able to get a hold of her for a month. Eventually, she texted me to apologize, and said that she had been dealing with some personal things. I took her word for it.
On our third date, we met for dinner. We went to a small, romantic restaurant, which was kind of a strategic location—it was close to my place. We ordered more than a few drinks, and we seemed to pick up where we left off after the first two go-rounds. Erin was really dressed up this time, and seemed to want to engage me in conversation. She asked a lot of questions about my previous partners. I figured we had been seeing each other for a bit, so it was probably the right time to open up about them.
We took a walk after eating. I suggested that we go back to my place to warm up, so we rented some DVDs and headed over. We didn’t even get through the opening credits before we started making out. Within minutes, we had moved into the bedroom. Unfortunately, our chemistry was off; the sex was terrible. I’m not sure whether Erin could sense that I’d had a bad time, because her demeanour after the fact was super cuddly. It was clearly not going to work between us.
I neglected to call or text her after that. I didn’t have the heart to tell her the real reason, and I didn’t want to lie. A week later, she sent me a long email, saying that I should have just told her I wasn’t into her, instead of leading her on. She then told me that she was still seeing her now ex-boyfriend around the time of our first two dates, and when she was out of touch for a month, it was because she was breaking up with him. I never emailed her back.
Mike rates his date (out of 10): 5
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