Laura is a 28-year-old physical therapist who lives at St. Clair and Yonge*. She is looking for “a nice guy who is actually nice,” and who is upfront with his feelings. “I like a guy who is a bit of a dork, but not self-conscious about it, and who can make me laugh,” she says. Laura’s idea of a great date is simple: a good conversation can go a long way.
The day I met Mike, I was at the airport on my way to Barcelona to meet up with an amazing Brazilian boy I had met a few months before while travelling. When I got off the escalator, this guy behind me laughed and said, “I don’t think you have enough Canadian flags on your suitcase.” He was joking, as I have three or four.
We stopped and chatted for a minute, and Mike joked about how my flags might not work as well as they used to in different countries because Stephen Harper’s environmental policies were not well-received in Europe. He passed me his business card and said we should meet up when I got home from my trip. A week later, I was back in Toronto, and Mike messaged me to suggest we go for ice cream. Given that I was trying hard to get over my beyond-magical time with the Brazilian boy, I figured dating a local was a better choice for my romantic future.
At first, Mike seemed great. He was just as funny and cute as the Brazilian, and we had a good back-and-forth going while we waited in line. I ordered a scoop of coffee ice cream, and he had a vanilla scoop. As he was paying, he said that if we melted our ice cream together it would look “just like our kids.” (I’m white; he’s Latino.) When we sat down, he started leaning over the small table, pinching my cheeks, and saying how little and cute I was. The first time he did it was okay, if a bit strange, but after the seventh time, I was weirded out. Twice, he even poked my nose and made a “Boop!” sound. I started to think he wasn’t the sophisticated international traveller I had thought he was. Mike also kept making corny sex jokes and actually winking. When we got up to leave, he tickled me. I was about to say something about it, but at that point he did that “Got your nose!” schtick. For a guy in his mid-30s, he was acting like a creepy grandpa.
I thought it would be awkward to leave right away, so I walked around with him for a bit. Mike mentioned he had voted for Rob Ford and Stephen Harper, and I was even more turned off. I thought the date couldn’t get worse, but then he told me that he thought the recent rally for sexual assaults in the Annex was “stupid,” and then said he wanted to hold my hand while we crossed the street “for safety.” I said a polite goodbye and left, wondering just how quickly I could get a cheap flight to Brazil.
Laura rates her date (out of 10): 3
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CORRECTION, NOVEMBER 21, 2012: The original version of this article listed an incorrect (or, rather, non-existent) intersection. The information has been corrected.