Kelsey is 27 years old, works in advertising, and calls Kensington Market home. She enjoys walking around the city looking for new things to eat, new sports to play, and “silly physical activities” to try. “I like to have fun,but mainly I think of myself as responsible and forward-looking,” she says. “I’m looking for men who have five-year plans that don’t include keg stands.” Kelsey met Brent on OkCupid.
After a couple weeks of online dating, I found myself writing back and forth with this one guy, Brent. He was 28, tall, a firefighter—hot!—and seemed really nice, so I decided to meet him.
We met up one day near my office for an after-work coffee. He was just as cute as in his pictures. It was a bit awkward at first, as it always is, but ended up going pretty well—better than usual, actually. It was nice to talk to someone who had more on his mind than playing hackysack. As a firefighter, Brent was serious about saving lives and contributing to society. Once I had determined that he probably wasn’t going to kidnap me, I decided that I’d like to go out with him again.
For our second date, we ate dinner at a fancy place and talked about our goals and interests. I can honestly say I really started to feel a connection. After he paid the bill, Brent asked if I wanted to come over to his place to watch a movie and chill, rather than going out. I said, “Why not?”
He drove us out of the city to a nice, large house in the suburbs. I was surprised when he said it was his. When I asked Brent if he had roommates, or rented an apartment there, he said no. Then, when I asked why there was another car in the driveway, he said, “That’s my mom’s car,” as if it were the most normal response in the world. He had mentioned “his place” a few times at dinner. Clearly, I had wrongly assumed it was actually his place.
We stepped inside, and before I could take my shoes off, I had met his mom, dad, and brother. They all lived there together; his brother was obviously in his thirties. To make things slightly more uncomfortable, his mom insisted that I sit down with them at their dinner table and share the dessert she had made. They all seemed nice and normal, but inside I was freaking out.
Brent suggested we go upstairs to his room to watch a movie. Upon entering, I saw that the walls were painted little-boy blue, and were almost entirely covered with posters of Family Guy, The Simpsons, and Futurama. He had shelves filled with little figurines of fire engines, dalmatians, and Disney characters.
I wanted to leave, but couldn’t see myself storming out while his family sat around downstairs. Just then, he turned off the light, and the ceiling and walls lit up with glow-in-the-dark stars. It was really the cherry on top. Even though he thought of himself as a big-time hero, fighting fires and saving lives, Brent had never grown up. The next day, I took my dating profile offline.
Kelsey rates her date (out of 10): 2
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