Jessica is a 32-year-old music-industry executive who lives at Yonge and St. Clair. “I’m very outgoing, fun, and bubbly,” she says. “I also love music, and I sing in a choir.” Jessica enjoys exploring new restaurants, bars, and neighbourhoods, and describes her style as “hipsterish with a conservative twist.” She had been single for a year before meeting George on JDate.
I’m looking for someone who is willing to try new things and has a sense of humour, but very few guys I go out with get past the second date. I had never really used dating sites before. I like guys to be vetted by friends or coworkers, but I thought I would try JDate, which is where I met George. He was in his late 40s. It’s not that important to me that a man is Jewish, but I thought having religion in common could be good for a relationship, even though I’m not that religious anymore. I also don’t normally date guys that much older than me, but his pictures suggested he could be cute. I’d just come off of a series of bad dates with younger guys and thought maybe an older guy with more maturity would be a good fit for me. After we chatted a bit online, George asked me out for coffee. When he walked in, I knew I wasn’t attracted to him, but I thought I’d give him a chance anyway.
Online, he claimed that he was a teacher, but it turned out he was also a musician. I’ve dated musicians who have tried to take advantage of my industry connections and knowledge, so I’ve declared a moratorium on dating artists—and, specifically, musicians. So I just told him I was “an executive.” It was easy to avoid talking about my job, actually, because he talked about himself ad nauseam. He asked me a few token questions, but then, after a while, he started asking about my Jewishness.
George asked me if I was “sure” I was Jewish maybe three or four times because, according to him, I didn’t “look” Jewish—possibly because I’m blonde. What, did I have to have a big nose? A Louis Vuitton bag and Tiffany necklace? A DNA test? I ignored the fact that he was coming off as anti-Semitic, not to mention deeply insulting. I asked him why he would doubt me—we met on JDate, after all—and he said that most of the women in his age-group on the site “weren’t Jewish enough” for him because they had converted. I didn’t point out that I wasn’t exactly in his age-group, but I did admit that I’m the most secular of secular Jews, and someone who had converted would be way more Jewish than me. I eat pork and shrimp! He replied by saying he wasn’t religious, but needed to be with a Jewish-born woman. I knew that if he was this intolerant on the Jewish issue, no one would ever be good enough for him.
He had to leave to play a gig, and asked me to go out again. I told him I wasn’t feeling a romantic connection. When I got home I deactivated all of my online dating profiles. Give me a vetted guy any day, Jewish or not.
Jessica rates her date (out of 10): 1
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