Anne is a 30-year-old furniture designer who lives near St. Lawrence Market. She’s reserved and quiet, but says she can be crazy around the group of close friends she’s had since high school. Anne likes doing charity runs, organizing “movie nights that become sleepovers” and going up north in the summer. She met Seth online.
Seth and I emailed back and forth a few times before he suggested meeting for dinner. When we met, he seemed promising—he was over six feet tall and cute—but he didn’t appear to have a restaurant in mind. So we wandered down Queen Street looking for somewhere. When we finally sat down to eat, I started feeling that something was a little off. He didn’t ask me any questions and was staring at me like I was a delicious cheeseburger. Also, he revealed that at 34 years old he’d never had a serious relationship. Red flag! But the food was good.
After dinner, Seth suggested we go see some live music, though he said he was reluctant to take me because he wasn’t sure I’d be into the dive-bar scene. It seemed like he was testing me or trying to start an argument. When he had first messaged me online, it was because he had seen that I’d looked at his profile but hadn’t messaged him, and he wanted to know why. I told him it was because he’d described himself as “arrogant.” I thought that maybe this was that arrogance coming through in person.
When we arrived, the music was like a hillbilly soundtrack in an old-timey movie. I expected Seth would want to leave right away, but instead he began staring intently at me again. He started telling me how much he liked me and how pretty I was. All the while, that silly bluegrass was playing at top volume. He kept sniffing my neck and ears, saying, “You smell so familiar, like home.” It was totally inappropriate. There were lots of other couples there but nobody else was being groped at the bar.
I endured his intense staring until the show was over, then made a quick exit and took a taxi home. As soon as I opened my door I had a text from him asking to see me again. I replied a few days later to say that we weren’t a match. He texted again: “I felt you were growing a little cold. It’s a shame because you have all the right qualities.” I ignored it, but soon got three more messages asking me to call him. I texted back that we weren’t compatible. “Now you’re talking in code,” he replied, “but I can’t force you to be sensitive to my feelings,” and then, “I really thought this could be something,” and then, “You misled me. Now I am sad and angry.”
I think I need a break from online dating.
Anne rates her date (out of 10): 3
Want to be a dating diarist? Email datingdiaries@thegridto.com.
