Amber is a 26-year-old early-childhood educator who lives in Queen West but “stays true to [her] Mississauga roots.” She describes herself as “relaxed, but not to the point of wearing sweatpants and flip-flops in public.” For fun, she likes to go to the beach, “have crazy parties for no reason,” and spend rainy days watching movies and eating pizza. Amber has been single for two years.
I was at the bar with friends, and this guy was all up in my grill asking what kind of men I liked. He kept saying, “I bet you like firefighters and cops,” for some reason, even though he wasn’t a firefighter or a cop. He kept puffing his chest out and flexing his arms. His pick-up style should have been enough of a red flag, but he was paying attention to me while I was drunk, and was cute, so I gave him my number.
After texting back and forth with Jeremiah a few times one Friday, I decided that I’d like to meet up with him after work before I headed out of the city for the weekend. We met near my office for a quick drink on a patio. I figured it would be easy to bail if it went badly.
Jeremiah ordered two beers right off the bat. He had arrived first, and was sitting with his back to the wall, and said, “This way I know my surroundings,” he said, as if he was Jason Bourne or something. He also said, “You probably noticed that I’m looking around a lot. I don’t want you to think it’s because I am checking out other girls. I’m just on high alert.” I didn’t have time to respond because soon enough, he was off on some tangent about how he chooses a parking spot.
He then asked me what my first impression of him was at the bar, with a weird smile. I think fishing for compliments is the least sexy thing a guy can do, so that confirmed my decision to get out of there fast. I said, “I don’t know. What are you looking for here, exactly?” This wasn’t what he was expecting to hear, and he changed the subject to something else entirely random. He asked me if I wanted to go away for the weekend with him. I reminded him I was leaving for the weekend after our beers were finished, and he just made a face like he didn’t know what I was talking about.
When we left, I told Jeremiah that I didn’t need a ride home, and tried to walk away with a wave, but he pulled me in for a hug. I heard a distinct sniffing sound near my ear: he was smelling me! He told me that I smelled really nice, and asked if I remembered him telling me that I smelled nice when we met. I said no, but I was drunk. I started moving away, saying “Bye!” but he kept moving in closer and closer, like he was going in for a kiss. It got to the point where I was walking backwards away from him down the sidewalk, all while he kept repeating, over and over, that the ball was in my court and that I should call him. Finally, I turned around, speed-walked away, and started running when I got to the corner.
Amber rates her date (out of 10): 1
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