Alyssa is a 34-year-old engineer who lives in Parkdale. She describes herself as upbeat, engaging, and sharp. For fun, Alyssa likes to read, run, and check out museums and galleries. She has been single for two years, since the end of a 10-year relationship, and is looking for someone “considerate and warm who knows who he is and what he wants in a partner.” She met Donald online.
I initiated contact with Donald after noticing he had been creeping my profile for days. We weren’t matched at all in terms of education, profession, or cultural background. He was forward and unpolished, and worked a high-paying but blue-collar job. Still, he seemed charming, if a bit unusual—like a beast with a heart of gold. After three or four long phone calls that ran into the wee hours of the morning, we decided to meet for lunch. We ended up going to Williams Landing in Liberty Village, which was a terrible location for a first date—scantily-clad waitresses everywhere, overly loud music, and no privacy. Despite our phone chemistry, the conversation completely fell apart in person. Donald seemed full of machismo and insecurity, strutting peacock-style for my benefit, which was a total turnoff. He pushed his expensive watch in my face, and talked about his “bespoke” shirt that cost $250 and the carbon wrap on his BMW. In addition to the bragging, Donald spouted a lot of sexual innuendo, sexist remarks, and disrespectful comments. Within 20 minutes, he had evaluated the shape of my ass, the length of my hair, and how good we might be in bed together.
He was also ogling the waitresses, who looked like hookers, to be honest. I wondered if he had suggested that particular restaurant just so he could show off his boorish behaviour. He definitely didn’t care about making me uncomfortable. At one point, he looked at the waitress’ very short skirt and asked her, “Is your beef organic?” with a disgusting grin on his face.
I basically stopped talking to him after that, and didn’t say anything when he sat there checking his phone while we waited for the bill. After lunch, Donald dropped me off at my office, giving me an awkward peck on the cheek. I was angry and upset at how he behaved, but wondered if he was just nervous. He was too different between the phone calls and the date, and I thought something might be up. I emailed my girlfriends and they all told me to forget him, but I was willing to give it another chance.
The next day, I checked Twitter and saw that Donald had re-tweeted a woman saying that she’d had a great time on her dinner date with him the night before. This would have been hours after we parted ways. I was going to call him out on it, but before I could, he sent me a blow-off text that just said, “I can’t give you what you need.” We never spoke again after that.
Alyssa rates her date (out of 10): 2
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