Alannah is a 33-year-old human-resources manager who lives in The Junction. She describes herself as friendly, outgoing, and warm. “I like to ask a lot of questions, which is the HR in me. I love meeting new people.” She likes cooking, comedy and indie-rock shows, horseback riding, road-tripping, and going to the cottage. She met Evan on Tinder.
Evan lived in Montreal, but was often in Toronto for work. His pictures on Tinder were cute—beard, tats, nice style. He was also a big traveller, and was into being active and spending time outside. We shared a mutual “we should grab a drink sometime” kind of feeling.
We texted for a few weeks, and Evan seemed nice and cool. He tended to drop a lot of sexual suggestions, which I thought was pretty forward, but I was on Tinder, so what did I expect? I decided that the next time he was in town, I would meet up with him.
He happened to be in Toronto the next weekend. His work had put him up at a hotel by the airport, so he asked me if I wanted to go out…near Pearson. I thought that was really weird, but since I had a car, I picked him up at his hotel.
As soon as I saw Evan, I knew I wasn’t into him. He looked like his pictures, but he was also wearing way too much hair product, and was chewing some kind of food with his mouth open. He also didn’t look me in the eye when he talked to me.
On my way there, I thought we could head downtown to check out Queen Street or Ossington, but [when I met him] I immediately decided that this date had to be short. I suggested that we go to a bar near the airport. The only places we could find were pretty lacklustre, so we ended up at a pub. We were there for all of 45 minutes, 42 of which consisted of Evan talking at me, still chewing with his mouth open, and telling me how much better than Toronto Montreal was. He ordered and ate two different surf and turf–style dinners, and drank three beers at the bar, while I drank a Diet Coke. I kind of wanted to punch him in the face by the end of those 45 minutes.
I ended up driving him back to his hotel; I couldn’t wait to get home, get into my pyjamas, and watch TV. As I parked, waiting for him to get his ass out of my car, he said, “So you’re coming up, right?” I told him I didn’t think so, saying that I’d had fun (lies), but that I wasn’t interested. I couldn’t believe this was my first Tinder date. He replied, “Okay, can I have a hug then?” I leaned over to give him one, and he held on a bit too long and proceeded to kiss me on the mouth, and then he straight up stuck his tongue down my throat, with his two-dinners-at-the-bar and beer-infused breath. I pulled away, said, “Okay, we’re done!” and got the eff out of there.
Alannah rates her date (out of 10): 3
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