The Valentine's Day edition of The Night List includes a burlesque show by Skin Tight Outta Sight, a queer-geared slow dance jam, a V-Day massacre at SPiN Toronto, and more.
Thursday: Love A Heart bachelor and bachelorette auction
The Hideout, 484 Queen St. W. #QNW Free. Doors at 8 p.m.
Because it’s for a good cause, I promise. I went to the inaugural edition of the Love A Heart bachelor and bachelorette auction last year, where Toronto’s “hottest” (read: most willing and well-spirited) young things were sold off in support of the Heart and Stroke Foundation. This year’s offerings are undoubtedly a step up, with talent like Toronto Argonauts wide receiver Mike Bradwell, former New York Ranger Richard Scott, and penthouse-hungry Notable.ca entrepreneur Julian Brass. There’s also a crop of the usual social media darlings like Casie Stewart and Raymi “The Minx” White , sprinkled in amongst local sex columnist Sofi Typewriter and my favourite girl Christine Estima . I can’t remember if any of this resulted in actual dates, but each win now comes with a complete date package. The auction is divided up into two blocks, with the first lot going up at 9:30 p.m. In between, you’ll be treated to music by local up-and-comers Tiny Danza (a booking secured by the band’s ladies-man manager Brock McLaughlin, also a participant). Now get thee to Facebook to ogle the complete line-up.
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Friday: Be Mein Valentine burlesque show
Gladstone Hotel Ballroom, 1214 Queen St. W. #WQW $25 in advance, $30 at the door. Doors at 9 p.m.
I could write an entire essay on the socio-cultural-political relevance/magic of Bob Fosse’s Cabaret . So, when I find out Skin Tight Outta Sight, the city’s longest-running burlesque troupe, is name-dropping lines from the classic flick, I’m at attention. Be Mein Valentine is slated to be a salacious, sexy look at Berlin’s once-golden Weimar era, a period of intense sexual and cultural liberation often romanticized through the work of Christopher Isherwood (The Berlin Novels ) and assessed against the stark reality of the paintings of Otto Dix. (It’s also synonymous with the brewing of Hitler’s political power.) In many ways, 1930s Berlin was a melting pot of “delicious debauch,” as the troupe dubs its show, and the one-night-only cabaret will be “a showcase of sexual outlaws, ladies of ill repute and men of gender ambiguity.” It also stars Boylesque T.O, the country’s only all-male revue, with a total of 15 burlesque artists and live musicians. (Hell, even I would have performed had they asked.) Find out more right here , dahhling!
Saturday: Toronto Queer Valentine’s Slowdance
Dovercourt House, 805 Dovercourt Road. #BCT $10 at the door. Doors at 9:30 p.m.
When I first introduced you to Sherwin, he was mounting a series of Strip Spelling Bees at Buddies . He’s back in town, this time with his other Montreal-born party series: a queer-geared Slowdance to upstage all of your abject high school experiences. That Sherwin is a quirky one, and he’s probably the most thoughtful salonnière I know. Case(s) in point: there’s a “lending library of designated dancers” for the shy or socially awkward and a “dancecard booklet” to secure an advance dance for when you meet your personality drink quota. The booklet also contains the night’s set list, so you can plan to finally dance with someone during *NSync’s “This I Promise You” or, if you’re me, The Yeah Yeah Yeahs’ “Maps.” (Ah, to imagine high school with alcohol, condoms, and a boyfriend.) But really, this party has its own instruction manual, so find out more right here .
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Monday: FML Mondays XOXO 2.0
With DJ Alessandro. Vizion Lounge & Nightclub, 580 Church St. #CHS Free. Doors at 10 p.m.
I like the acronym for this party: FML. In internet-speak, that translates into “fuck my life.” While I bet there will be entire apartment blocks filled with the sounds of Adele on Monday night, screw that noise—just go out dancing. I mean, what better excuse do you need to party on a Monday when it’s the Monday before Valentine’s Day? That is, if you’re sure you’re sure you don’t care. Otherwise, head over to the Village for FML’s second annual XOXO jam. $5 drinks all night long ($3 before 11 p.m.), no cover, and a bunch of people with nowhere to be and nothing to do on Tuesday morning. Join ‘em. Just look at the tagline: “Drop the drama, join the party.” Preach! Peep the guest list—and sharpen those claws for the V-Day kill—right here .
Tuesday: Bloody Valentine Massacre
SPiN Toronto, 461 King St. West, lower level. #KGW Free after 9 p.m.
We’ve talked about SPiN, the basement ping pong palace off an alley on King West , right? Yes. Ditch those Golden Double Stuf Oreos and that bottle of wine and head to the Bloody Valentine Massacre to meet other singles—or, well, couples if Wicked is too advanced for you. Dubbed as “alternative and less typical,” I’m told fake blood is the only red you’ll need, gory costumes are highly recommended (with a prize for the best one), and bloody drinks will be on ice. There’s also a “killer” photo booth and free ping pong after 9 p.m. You can finally be the version of Carrie you always wanted—just hold off on the killing, and the Blahniks.
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