Craigslist is either the first or last refuge of the apartment-deficient. Each week in The Craigslist Crier, we help you navigate through the sea of grey, white and blue and point you to the most promising, intriguing and batshit-crazy rental posts of the week.
3: number of “420 friendly” places on offer.
Most specific request: “$400 Room-good for one person, filipina ladies only.”
Do you have lots of muscle knots? This could be for you: “Good looking gay man, ex-athlete, footballier type, down to earth, quiet, just relocated to Mississauga. Looking to share lodging with another gay man, preferably older, in exchange for massage sessions and/or household duties.”
Tastiest barter?: “Professional couple looking for spacious one or two bedroom apartment…We don’t smoke, don’t have pets, are dependable, have good credit, work references, past landlord references & for the right landlord we could even throw in a loaf of my special chocolate chip banana bread 
”
Most creative barter: “Hi, I’m a longtime freelance writer…I’m becoming aware there are a lot of folks out there – whether elderly, disabled, etc. – still in their own homes/apartments – but increasingly needing help…I don’t have the usual long rental or salaried-employment or credit history etc., many landlords (justifiably) look for when vetting tenants, so hoped that what I’m offering (along with my longtime accomplishments, incl. volunteer), might make up for some of that.”
Most bitter: “$650 SCAM!! 1br – 1 bed (1bedroom) CONDO (Spadina & Dunda ( 188 Spadina Ave, T)”
Your future eccentric roommate?: “I’m not into sterile environments meaning 4 white walls in a boxy highrise apartment or basement apts….I’m a little quiet, and 420 friendly! Let me repeat that 420 friendly *wink wink. I love gardening so you can expect me to take over whatever outside space we have with plants of various natures: edibles, flowers, intoxicatingly fragrant herbs and vines…Oh, and I’m a vegetarian, and prefer meat not to be cooked in the house, of course what you do outside of the apartment does not concern me…but really, I’m easy going and non judgmental.”
Best. Listing. Ever.: “Zombie roomate? I’m a 24 yr old zombie and having a hard time finding someone who wants to share with a zombie. anyone non-discriminatory have it in their heart to accept me? i’m very tame and have a only a minor history of killing and other violence but have been quiet for weeks now.”
