Comments on: New-parent paranoia http://www.thegridto.com/life/parenting/new-parent-paranoia/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=new-parent-paranoia Toronto's new weekly city magazine Sat, 18 May 2013 20:54:20 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.1.2 By: Parker http://www.thegridto.com/life/parenting/new-parent-paranoia/#comment-44238 Parker Thu, 24 Jan 2013 16:36:26 +0000 http://www.thegridto.com/?p=120549#comment-44238 @Edge, I take your point about getting some previous new baby experience. I'm sure it does help. But, as you may or may not know, there's a big difference between looking after someone else's baby -- even if he/she is related to you (niece/nephew, etc.) -- and looking after your own. There's the imprint, the intrinsic sense of responsibility and the love for your own baby that you just don't feel when caring for someone else's. Hence, the new parent paranoia. This is YOUR BABY's life in your hands. @Edge, I take your point about getting some previous new baby experience. I’m sure it does help.

But, as you may or may not know, there’s a big difference between looking after someone else’s baby — even if he/she is related to you (niece/nephew, etc.) — and looking after your own. There’s the imprint, the intrinsic sense of responsibility and the love for your own baby that you just don’t feel when caring for someone else’s. Hence, the new parent paranoia. This is YOUR BABY’s life in your hands.

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]]> By: Chris http://www.thegridto.com/life/parenting/new-parent-paranoia/#comment-44135 Chris Tue, 22 Jan 2013 21:34:25 +0000 http://www.thegridto.com/?p=120549#comment-44135 I think you are right. I don't know why folks are so defensive? I think you are right. I don’t know why folks are so defensive?

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]]> By: alecto http://www.thegridto.com/life/parenting/new-parent-paranoia/#comment-44134 alecto Tue, 22 Jan 2013 19:24:30 +0000 http://www.thegridto.com/?p=120549#comment-44134 Why are you so upset that your son tasted formula? Formula saves lives. It's not evil, and it's not poison. Both my kids were breast-fed but supplemented with formula because they were big babies and hungry. They aren't any worse off for it. Why are you so upset that your son tasted formula? Formula saves lives. It’s not evil, and it’s not poison. Both my kids were breast-fed but supplemented with formula because they were big babies and hungry. They aren’t any worse off for it.

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]]> By: jay_sands http://www.thegridto.com/life/parenting/new-parent-paranoia/#comment-44094 jay_sands Mon, 21 Jan 2013 21:52:37 +0000 http://www.thegridto.com/?p=120549#comment-44094 I really enjoyed this. A little over 2 years ago, my partner and I were stunned to learn that we were going to be parents. At the time we were both working good jobs, although neither of us really loved what we did, and I was thinking very seriously about returning to school full-time to pursue a professional degree. Suffice it to say a lot of our plans had to be postponed, or at least significantly altered. I don't think I had a proper night's sleep for the first month after I got the news, but I fell in love with my kid the first time I saw her blurry outline during the first ultrasound, and heard that little heart pounding away. Fast forward two years, and we're now "old pros". Everyone's child is different, and as a result, so is their experience. You can listen to all of the horror stories about what can go wrong, or let yourself become obsessed by arbitrary benchmarks (The neighbour's kid is already crawling / walking / talking / doing calculus!), but it's best if you just tune that noise out. Growing up, we all thought our parents knew what they were doing, and had all the answers, but they were also just making it up as they went along. Like the author, we remain very much a one kid family (but we were a no kid family at one point, so I guess you never really know), so it sometimes makes me a little sad that we may never bring another tiny little baby home from the hospital, and although I (occasionally) wish that I could pause time and keep her at 18 months for a little while longer, I'm really looking forward to what comes next. My advice to new parents is pretty similar to the author's. Don't freak out about little things, don't compulsively compare your baby with others - they're all different, and the best parents you can think of were just as scared and clueless as you were in the beginning. Have fun and enjoy it as much as possible. I really enjoyed this. A little over 2 years ago, my partner and I were stunned to learn that we were going to be parents. At the time we were both working good jobs, although neither of us really loved what we did, and I was thinking very seriously about returning to school full-time to pursue a professional degree. Suffice it to say a lot of our plans had to be postponed, or at least significantly altered. I don’t think I had a proper night’s sleep for the first month after I got the news, but I fell in love with my kid the first time I saw her blurry outline during the first ultrasound, and heard that little heart pounding away.

Fast forward two years, and we’re now “old pros”. Everyone’s child is different, and as a result, so is their experience. You can listen to all of the horror stories about what can go wrong, or let yourself become obsessed by arbitrary benchmarks (The neighbour’s kid is already crawling / walking / talking / doing calculus!), but it’s best if you just tune that noise out. Growing up, we all thought our parents knew what they were doing, and had all the answers, but they were also just making it up as they went along.

Like the author, we remain very much a one kid family (but we were a no kid family at one point, so I guess you never really know), so it sometimes makes me a little sad that we may never bring another tiny little baby home from the hospital, and although I (occasionally) wish that I could pause time and keep her at 18 months for a little while longer, I’m really looking forward to what comes next.

My advice to new parents is pretty similar to the author’s. Don’t freak out about little things, don’t compulsively compare your baby with others – they’re all different, and the best parents you can think of were just as scared and clueless as you were in the beginning. Have fun and enjoy it as much as possible.

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]]> By: anon http://www.thegridto.com/life/parenting/new-parent-paranoia/#comment-44075 anon Mon, 21 Jan 2013 15:27:09 +0000 http://www.thegridto.com/?p=120549#comment-44075 So only people with younger siblings should be allowed to procreate? New parent paranoia exists because having a baby is F&%!ing scary! But good to know you speak cry, good for you, you have a magical skill. sometime babies just plain cry, no reason at all. So only people with younger siblings should be allowed to procreate?

New parent paranoia exists because having a baby is F&%!ing scary!

But good to know you speak cry, good for you, you have a magical skill.

sometime babies just plain cry, no reason at all.

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]]> By: edge http://www.thegridto.com/life/parenting/new-parent-paranoia/#comment-44030 edge Sat, 19 Jan 2013 03:51:12 +0000 http://www.thegridto.com/?p=120549#comment-44030 One of the reasons "new parent paranoia" exists is that an entire generation of people are becoming parents without ever having cared for (or even held) a baby before. Those of us who helped care for infant siblings, who babysat for other families since the age of 12, and who learned from childhood to be confident and hands-on with babies, have a huge advantage over those who have never interacted with a baby before having one of their own. Just knowing how to distinguish one cry from another is a huge advantage, yet I see new parents who are frantically feeding, changing, burping and sometimes "Ferberizing" their babies because they haven't a clue what's making their infant cry. They wouldn't dive off the side of a boat without learning to swim first; why not get some first-hand experience with infant care before embarking on parenthood? One of the reasons “new parent paranoia” exists is that an entire generation of people are becoming parents without ever having cared for (or even held) a baby before. Those of us who helped care for infant siblings, who babysat for other families since the age of 12, and who learned from childhood to be confident and hands-on with babies, have a huge advantage over those who have never interacted with a baby before having one of their own. Just knowing how to distinguish one cry from another is a huge advantage, yet I see new parents who are frantically feeding, changing, burping and sometimes “Ferberizing” their babies because they haven’t a clue what’s making their infant cry.
They wouldn’t dive off the side of a boat without learning to swim first; why not get some first-hand experience with infant care before embarking on parenthood?

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]]> By: Chantal http://www.thegridto.com/life/parenting/new-parent-paranoia/#comment-44002 Chantal Fri, 18 Jan 2013 15:23:50 +0000 http://www.thegridto.com/?p=120549#comment-44002 Don't worry. There IS glory in having just one: http://chantalsaville.homestead.com/Connection_Template_April_2011_page_18.pdf At the end, every kid is totally different so as a result, so is your experience. Have fun!!!! Don’t worry. There IS glory in having just one: http://chantalsaville.homestead.com/Connection_Template_April_2011_page_18.pdf

At the end, every kid is totally different so as a result, so is your experience. Have fun!!!!

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]]> By: W. K. Lis http://www.thegridto.com/life/parenting/new-parent-paranoia/#comment-44001 W. K. Lis Fri, 18 Jan 2013 15:20:41 +0000 http://www.thegridto.com/?p=120549#comment-44001 Can I borrow the car keys, Dad? Can I borrow the car keys, Dad?

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