Comments on: My son’s not playing hockey because hockey breeds jerks http://www.thegridto.com/life/parenting/my-sons-not-playing-hockey-because-hockey-breeds-jerks/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=my-sons-not-playing-hockey-because-hockey-breeds-jerks Toronto's new weekly city magazine Wed, 19 Jun 2013 22:30:23 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.1.2 By: Anonymous http://www.thegridto.com/life/parenting/my-sons-not-playing-hockey-because-hockey-breeds-jerks/#comment-47696 Anonymous Wed, 12 Jun 2013 02:46:42 +0000 http://www.thegridto.com/?p=78607#comment-47696 Sounds like the real jerk his son has to get away from is his dad. Sounds like the real jerk his son has to get away from is his dad.

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]]> By: Birdie http://www.thegridto.com/life/parenting/my-sons-not-playing-hockey-because-hockey-breeds-jerks/#comment-46438 Birdie Tue, 21 May 2013 19:34:37 +0000 http://www.thegridto.com/?p=78607#comment-46438 I grew up thinking hockey players and basically all jocks were jerks too....but wouldn't you know I ended up marrying one - a professional hockey coach on top of it! My kids play hockey and I worry some days about them getting that "jock mentality" (note I said jock NOT hockey player, because I think ALL jocks get it from fly-fishing to race car driving and everything in-between). I know my kids will have confidence, I will simply guide them on the straight that confidence does not equate "better than everyone else" and I know there will be times they are feeling good because of a success and again I will guide them into knowing "no one is less than them because they haven't acquired the same success" - its in the parenting, you can sit and chose not to put your kid in a sport because you think EVERY kid has the same mentality or you can be realistic and note that NOT EVERY kid is the same and chose to guide your son/daughter on how you would like them to turn out! I grew up thinking hockey players and basically all jocks were jerks too….but wouldn’t you know I ended up marrying one – a professional hockey coach on top of it! My kids play hockey and I worry some days about them getting that “jock mentality” (note I said jock NOT hockey player, because I think ALL jocks get it from fly-fishing to race car driving and everything in-between). I know my kids will have confidence, I will simply guide them on the straight that confidence does not equate “better than everyone else” and I know there will be times they are feeling good because of a success and again I will guide them into knowing “no one is less than them because they haven’t acquired the same success” – its in the parenting, you can sit and chose not to put your kid in a sport because you think EVERY kid has the same mentality or you can be realistic and note that NOT EVERY kid is the same and chose to guide your son/daughter on how you would like them to turn out!

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]]> By: ANON http://www.thegridto.com/life/parenting/my-sons-not-playing-hockey-because-hockey-breeds-jerks/#comment-45349 ANON Tue, 26 Feb 2013 00:18:55 +0000 http://www.thegridto.com/?p=78607#comment-45349 Unbelievable. Yr kid is yr kid, but you can't fucking tailor the person he'll become just because you disliked some people in high school. I wonder how yr life is, trying desperately to control things that are beyond your control. I forsee an interesting life for you and yr son. Also, in the arena of a pure ad-hominem attack, I think that, in trying to ensure that your kid is not the "asshole" that all hockey players are, you are trying to make him more like you, a "non-asshole". If you succeed in this, I'm afraid that you'll find that the world is probably going to construe you and your son as that which you seek to avoid, ie gigantic assholes. Unbelievable.

Yr kid is yr kid, but you can’t fucking tailor the person he’ll become just because you disliked some people in high school.

I wonder how yr life is, trying desperately to control things that are beyond your control. I forsee an interesting life for you and yr son.

Also, in the arena of a pure ad-hominem attack, I think that, in trying to ensure that your kid is not the “asshole” that all hockey players are, you are trying to make him more like you, a “non-asshole”. If you succeed in this, I’m afraid that you’ll find that the world is probably going to construe you and your son as that which you seek to avoid, ie gigantic assholes.

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]]> By: Hannah http://www.thegridto.com/life/parenting/my-sons-not-playing-hockey-because-hockey-breeds-jerks/#comment-45252 Hannah Fri, 22 Feb 2013 17:23:25 +0000 http://www.thegridto.com/?p=78607#comment-45252 I am thinking this may be one of my reasons for not wanting my son to start hockey...I just blogged about it http://hannahholzmann.com/jack-holzmann-tries-hockey/ Advice appreciated! I also worry about the time spent at the rink when your kids are involved in hockey. We don't know much about it though, nobody in our families has ever played but my son shows a huge interest. help! I am thinking this may be one of my reasons for not wanting my son to start hockey…I just blogged about it http://hannahholzmann.com/jack-holzmann-tries-hockey/ Advice appreciated! I also worry about the time spent at the rink when your kids are involved in hockey. We don’t know much about it though, nobody in our families has ever played but my son shows a huge interest. help!

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]]> By: jeff316 http://www.thegridto.com/life/parenting/my-sons-not-playing-hockey-because-hockey-breeds-jerks/#comment-41676 jeff316 Sun, 18 Nov 2012 02:08:15 +0000 http://www.thegridto.com/?p=78607#comment-41676 Another "parenting" article solely about the parent - Shulgan's not the only guilty party in this publication but dang he's gotta be one of the most egregious. Every article is about him, first fitting his kids into his dating, then fitting them into to his sex life, into his movie tastes, into his forced bike riding expectations, now into his preferences for sports. When is it not all about him? He writes well but as his articles always show he has yet to kick his addiction to himself. Another “parenting” article solely about the parent – Shulgan’s not the only guilty party in this publication but dang he’s gotta be one of the most egregious. Every article is about him, first fitting his kids into his dating, then fitting them into to his sex life, into his movie tastes, into his forced bike riding expectations, now into his preferences for sports. When is it not all about him? He writes well but as his articles always show he has yet to kick his addiction to himself.

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]]> By: jsmithers26 http://www.thegridto.com/life/parenting/my-sons-not-playing-hockey-because-hockey-breeds-jerks/#comment-41363 jsmithers26 Mon, 12 Nov 2012 01:11:49 +0000 http://www.thegridto.com/?p=78607#comment-41363 I think the so-called jerks that a lot of sports (skiing, hockey, football, basketball, etc.) spawn comes more from their parents rather than the sport and sport cultures themselves. Whether their parents are blindly ultra-competitive, good old boys/gals, alcoholics or snooty--it's ultimately them who are in charge of ensuring their kids have some values before they develop into jerks. Some are successful, some fail miserably and some simply do their best. You also end up having some parents who put their kids into hockey and nothing else. That kind of exposure makes no sense. Why not send them to summer camp as well so they meet different types of people with different types of life experiences. It's the hyper-focus on one activity that is dangerous. Diversify a little... cross-training and "cross-thinking" can't hurt. There are jerks everywhere, and certainly not just in sports. Sheltering kids from experiences and people is not the answer for preventing jerks. If that's the logical answer than I might not allow my kid to join the chess club in fear of him becoming a nerd. I think the so-called jerks that a lot of sports (skiing, hockey, football, basketball, etc.) spawn comes more from their parents rather than the sport and sport cultures themselves. Whether their parents are blindly ultra-competitive, good old boys/gals, alcoholics or snooty–it’s ultimately them who are in charge of ensuring their kids have some values before they develop into jerks. Some are successful, some fail miserably and some simply do their best.

You also end up having some parents who put their kids into hockey and nothing else. That kind of exposure makes no sense. Why not send them to summer camp as well so they meet different types of people with different types of life experiences. It’s the hyper-focus on one activity that is dangerous. Diversify a little… cross-training and “cross-thinking” can’t hurt.

There are jerks everywhere, and certainly not just in sports. Sheltering kids from experiences and people is not the answer for preventing jerks. If that’s the logical answer than I might not allow my kid to join the chess club in fear of him becoming a nerd.

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]]> By: MKTH http://www.thegridto.com/life/parenting/my-sons-not-playing-hockey-because-hockey-breeds-jerks/#comment-41338 MKTH Sat, 10 Nov 2012 15:43:10 +0000 http://www.thegridto.com/?p=78607#comment-41338 My son plays rep hockey and I've only ever been impressed with the ethic.... He spends time with 4 men who volunteer 3 or 4 days a week to coach hockey. He spends time with people unselfishly contribute their time and talents to someone else's child and to the sports community. I shiver on the bench with people from all over the place - people who come here because they enjoy watching their children play sport. I bring my own coffee if I don't like what's being served in the various municipal arenas. We cheer our team, support our kids and each other. We've figured out driving and tying skates and where to get hockey stuff on sale together. My son works hard and has since he was five....he learns how to play on a team....he learns how to win and lose graciously....he about when it's more important to share the puck than grab the glory. He is watched over by parents and coaches and siblings who make sure that his behaviour on the ice and before and after the game is polite, respectful, focused. He is learning a sport that he can play with his mates for the rest of his life. And that being physically active is an important part of how you take care of yourself It's not the sport - it's where you choose to let your kids play. I grew up skiing - lived in a place where I could ski 4-5 times a week. There were more wineskins and rolling papers and complete lack of supervision in the name of sport. Anyway, the whole tone of your article was high-handed, made sweeping generalizations and, as others have said, spoke more to what you want rather than what your son might want to do. My son plays rep hockey and I’ve only ever been impressed with the ethic….

He spends time with 4 men who volunteer 3 or 4 days a week to coach hockey. He spends time with people unselfishly contribute their time and talents to someone else’s child and to the sports community.

I shiver on the bench with people from all over the place – people who come here because they enjoy watching their children play sport. I bring my own coffee if I don’t like what’s being served in the various municipal arenas. We cheer our team, support our kids and each other. We’ve figured out driving and tying skates and where to get hockey stuff on sale together.

My son works hard and has since he was five….he learns how to play on a team….he learns how to win and lose graciously….he about when it’s more important to share the puck than grab the glory.

He is watched over by parents and coaches and siblings who make sure that his behaviour on the ice and before and after the game is polite, respectful, focused.

He is learning a sport that he can play with his mates for the rest of his life. And that being physically active is an important part of how you take care of yourself

It’s not the sport – it’s where you choose to let your kids play.

I grew up skiing – lived in a place where I could ski 4-5 times a week. There were more wineskins and rolling papers and complete lack of supervision in the name of sport.

Anyway, the whole tone of your article was high-handed, made sweeping generalizations and, as others have said, spoke more to what you want rather than what your son might want to do.

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]]> By: Mg http://www.thegridto.com/life/parenting/my-sons-not-playing-hockey-because-hockey-breeds-jerks/#comment-41336 Mg Sat, 10 Nov 2012 14:19:47 +0000 http://www.thegridto.com/?p=78607#comment-41336 Was this an attempt to demonstrate the validity of Chris's argument? Was this an attempt to demonstrate the validity of Chris’s argument?

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]]> By: bobby http://www.thegridto.com/life/parenting/my-sons-not-playing-hockey-because-hockey-breeds-jerks/#comment-41287 bobby Fri, 09 Nov 2012 15:04:43 +0000 http://www.thegridto.com/?p=78607#comment-41287 thats the first problem. thats the first problem.

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]]> By: Josh http://www.thegridto.com/life/parenting/my-sons-not-playing-hockey-because-hockey-breeds-jerks/#comment-41277 Josh Fri, 09 Nov 2012 03:14:04 +0000 http://www.thegridto.com/?p=78607#comment-41277 Wait, Peter; did you read the article? Selectively quoting it doesn't change that Chris is obviously got his son's future first and foremost in his mind. Wanting your son to not turn out to be an asshole--which might be too close for you to understand--is precisely giving a fuck about him. Wait, Peter; did you read the article? Selectively quoting it doesn’t change that Chris is obviously got his son’s future first and foremost in his mind.

Wanting your son to not turn out to be an asshole–which might be too close for you to understand–is precisely giving a fuck about him.

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