Ah, Thanksgiving—a word that brings joy to people who like to wear sweatpants in mixed company, and strikes fear into the hearts of those who think “sautée” and “marinate” are just fancy, rich-people words. For the kitchen novices among you who are unable to feast with family—and who wish to avoid crying into your gin over stale stuffing or, worse, receiving a house call from the fire department—we’ve provided a multitude of options for your Turkey Day meal, none of which involve any actual cooking.
For the Traditionalist with Trunk Space…
So you’re not an expert chef—that doesn’t mean you can’t eat like one. Summerhill Market (446 Summerhill Ave., 416-921-2714, #ROS) offers gourmet takes on all of the usual yummy suspects—free-range turkey, apple-onion-sage dressing, buttermilk mashed potatoes and orange cranberry sauce—neatly boxed up in reheat-ready foil containers for just $23.75 per person. There’s even a beef tenderloin ($33.25/person) option for those approaching maximum poultry saturation. Be sure to place your order 48 hours in advance of dinner. (Online orders receive a 5 per cent discount.) You can even pull the classic plate-the-food-and-throw-away-the-evidence schtick before your guests arrive. We won’t tell.
For the Cultured Meataphobe…
Thanksgiving is not just reserved for carnivores, people. Thankfully, our herbivorous counterparts can rely on the Hogtown Vegan (834 Bloor St. W., 416-901-9779, #CHP). Starting Sunday at 5 p.m., the Christie Pits establishment is offering a three-course, prix-fixe dinner ($20) of roasted squash soup, housemade tofu roast, sautéed garlic collard greens and pumpkin pie topped with whipped coconut cream—all dishes vegan and gluten-free. Make sure to call ahead for reservations and BYOBB (bring your own bacon bits).
For the Holiday Hipster…
If you spent Saturday night overloading on PBR and screening guilt-tripping calls from your parents (“We’re going to have so much extra food this year, dear!”), surely the last thing you want to do is slave over a seven-course dinner. Head on down to Nacho Mecca Sneaky Dee’s (431 College St., 416-603-3090, #COL) this Sunday (after 4 p.m.) or Monday (all day) for a cool kid–approved spread of turkey, stuffing, mixed veggies and more for $13.95. Tack on a slice of pumpkin pie for just $2.95. Or, you know, have another beer.
For the Brunch Snob…
Far be it for a holiday to get in the way of your usual Sunday-morning gorgefest. Kill two birds with one fork at Casa Loma’s Thanksgiving Royal Brunch—reservations required. (1 Austin Terrace, 416-923-1171 x:202, #FOR.) Aside from inspired homages to standard brunch awesomeness (hickory-smoked bacon, Ontario pear strudel, scrambled eggs with goat cheese, rosemary and sundried tomato) there are also decidedly more seasonal options (Yukon gold potato and pumpkin gratin, maple-baked ham) to make your meal feel more like home. (That is, if your home happens to be an early 20th-century castle with a smoking room and gift shop.) Prices (including gratuity): $13.45 (children 1-3), $26.45 (children 4-12), $51.45 (adults).
For the Saucy Schlub…
When in doubt, there is always Swiss Chalet. For $15.79, the Harvest Express Meal Deal (available to Oct. 30) includes the quarter-chicken fixings with your choice of soup, a side, a slice of pumpkin pie for your trouble, and (bonus!) you only have to get off the couch to answer the door. So go ahead, you festive slacker, you: drink that Chalet Sauce from a plastic goblet during Sunday Night Football like the class act you are.
