Comments on: Living large (with mom and dad) http://www.thegridto.com/life/finance/living-large-with-mom-and-dad/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=living-large-with-mom-and-dad Toronto's new weekly city magazine Thu, 23 May 2013 22:46:03 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.1.2 By: Zoie http://www.thegridto.com/life/finance/living-large-with-mom-and-dad/#comment-44106 Zoie Tue, 22 Jan 2013 03:02:46 +0000 http://www.thegridto.com/?p=80349#comment-44106 Do all you people live at home for free? My parents started charging me rent the day I graduated from high school. Needless to say, I didn't stick around for long. Do all you people live at home for free? My parents started charging me rent the day I graduated from high school. Needless to say, I didn’t stick around for long.

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]]> By: JA http://www.thegridto.com/life/finance/living-large-with-mom-and-dad/#comment-43800 JA Mon, 14 Jan 2013 21:01:35 +0000 http://www.thegridto.com/?p=80349#comment-43800 What about the idea of living at home while attending school (if possible) so that you do not rack up massive amounts of debt that will prevent you from moving out once you graduate? I realize this is not realistic for everyone as some people do not have a college or university in their city or town. However, if you are attending a school in the GTA (i.e U of T, Ryerson, York, or one of the many colleges), I do not see why it is necessary to move in to residence or an apartment if the student's parents live within reasonable proximity and are willing to let the student live at home. I lived at home while attending university and was lucky enough to find a well-paying job right after graduation despite being in the middle of the recession. I took 9 months to pay off $12K in student loans (my parents did not have the money to help pay my tuition), gave my parents $300-400 a month to help with the bills, paid my own bills, and then saved every extra penny. One year after graduating, I moved out to my own apartment, debt free and with a decent amount of savings to provide some financial security. I also realize that many 20-somethings like myself are not as fortunate to get a well-paying job right out of University. However, my partner who has a "crappy" 30k a year job also managed to move out (with a roommate) after living at home throughout University, so it can be done. On the other hand, most of my 20 something friends who are still at home now are those that decided to rent their own apartments during University, despite having the opportunity of living with their parents and making the sacrifice of commuting to school. Or even worse, those who decided to leave Toronto for an out-of-town university, paying twice as much every year to get the same degree I have. It is these people who "can't" move out because they are drowning in debt and choose to spend any money left over after making loan payments each month because they do not have any other bills to pay and have not developed financial responsibility. What about the idea of living at home while attending school (if possible) so that you do not rack up massive amounts of debt that will prevent you from moving out once you graduate? I realize this is not realistic for everyone as some people do not have a college or university in their city or town. However, if you are attending a school in the GTA (i.e U of T, Ryerson, York, or one of the many colleges), I do not see why it is necessary to move in to residence or an apartment if the student’s parents live within reasonable proximity and are willing to let the student live at home. I lived at home while attending university and was lucky enough to find a well-paying job right after graduation despite being in the middle of the recession. I took 9 months to pay off $12K in student loans (my parents did not have the money to help pay my tuition), gave my parents $300-400 a month to help with the bills, paid my own bills, and then saved every extra penny. One year after graduating, I moved out to my own apartment, debt free and with a decent amount of savings to provide some financial security.

I also realize that many 20-somethings like myself are not as fortunate to get a well-paying job right out of University. However, my partner who has a “crappy” 30k a year job also managed to move out (with a roommate) after living at home throughout University, so it can be done. On the other hand, most of my 20 something friends who are still at home now are those that decided to rent their own apartments during University, despite having the opportunity of living with their parents and making the sacrifice of commuting to school. Or even worse, those who decided to leave Toronto for an out-of-town university, paying twice as much every year to get the same degree I have. It is these people who “can’t” move out because they are drowning in debt and choose to spend any money left over after making loan payments each month because they do not have any other bills to pay and have not developed financial responsibility.

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]]> By: Lily http://www.thegridto.com/life/finance/living-large-with-mom-and-dad/#comment-42496 Lily Sun, 09 Dec 2012 08:13:02 +0000 http://www.thegridto.com/?p=80349#comment-42496 @ Greg: Thanks for pointing out something that bothered me about this article. One of the people who was interviewed can barely muster up $4000, but thinks she can save up for a five-figure downpayment AND travel around Asia. She also mentions that she'll start saving up once she has a job, which makes me wonder how she's able to put aside anything right now? Does she get an allowance? Before anyone thinks I'm judging, I graduated in 2008 in the midst of the recession, moved back home with my parents (I hated myself for it), juggled three part-time jobs in three different cities, made monthly car payments, and still socked away nearly $3000 in 6 months. Granted, I had a crappy no-frills flip phone and I've foregone holidays three years straight because I could never justify the expense, having been a freelancer for most of that time. Fortunately, I'm in a much better place now, but I still remember the stress and depression of being a new grad. In retrospect, branching out on my own was character-building. I learned to hustle (i.e. bridged employment gaps by teaching piano), manage personal finances/impulses, quickly adapt and bounce back from setbacks, and prevent my (immigrant) parents from exerting control over how I want to live my life. So if you're in a position to move out, why not give it a shot? You're learning skills that will last you a lifetime and you'll have more than a house to show for it. @ Greg: Thanks for pointing out something that bothered me about this article. One of the people who was interviewed can barely muster up $4000, but thinks she can save up for a five-figure downpayment AND travel around Asia. She also mentions that she’ll start saving up once she has a job, which makes me wonder how she’s able to put aside anything right now? Does she get an allowance?

Before anyone thinks I’m judging, I graduated in 2008 in the midst of the recession, moved back home with my parents (I hated myself for it), juggled three part-time jobs in three different cities, made monthly car payments, and still socked away nearly $3000 in 6 months. Granted, I had a crappy no-frills flip phone and I’ve foregone holidays three years straight because I could never justify the expense, having been a freelancer for most of that time.

Fortunately, I’m in a much better place now, but I still remember the stress and depression of being a new grad. In retrospect, branching out on my own was character-building. I learned to hustle (i.e. bridged employment gaps by teaching piano), manage personal finances/impulses, quickly adapt and bounce back from setbacks, and prevent my (immigrant) parents from exerting control over how I want to live my life. So if you’re in a position to move out, why not give it a shot? You’re learning skills that will last you a lifetime and you’ll have more than a house to show for it.

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]]> By: Dee http://www.thegridto.com/life/finance/living-large-with-mom-and-dad/#comment-41834 Dee Thu, 22 Nov 2012 16:35:03 +0000 http://www.thegridto.com/?p=80349#comment-41834 "Granted, not everyone gets along with their family as well as I do. " ...Or has a housekeeper that their mother pays do their dishes/wash their clothes/clean the house. Sweet deal. “Granted, not everyone gets along with their family as well as I do.
”
…Or has a housekeeper that their mother pays do their dishes/wash their clothes/clean the house.

Sweet deal.

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]]> By: Katie http://www.thegridto.com/life/finance/living-large-with-mom-and-dad/#comment-41607 Katie Fri, 16 Nov 2012 15:17:41 +0000 http://www.thegridto.com/?p=80349#comment-41607 It had its cons--suburban neighbourhood, neighbours who kept asking "how's college" ("you'll have to ask it. We broke up a year ago") , but for the most part, I loved living with my mom in Toronto! She is my best friend and we're both super busy, so it was sweet to make food and do pilates together. I moved out for a few months. I would barely see her, but I came home once a week for family dinner and we would just get drunk on red wine and then I'd pass out in my childhood bed anyway. Then one day our housekeeper--she's from the Phillipines--told me that I was actually being **selfish** by living alone instead of living with my family and being useful. For a WASP like myself, that was a completely different way of looking at things. I had this idea that living with family makes you a mooch. But the way she saw it, I could be helping out my mom with the tedium of daily life, or even just hanging out and asking things like 'how was your day' when she'd got home. Instead, she thought, I had gone AWOL and was flushing hundreds of dollars down the toilet each month in exchange for some silly sense of independence and easier access to cool bars. So I moved back home again. Granted, not everyone gets along with their family as well as I do. It had its cons–suburban neighbourhood, neighbours who kept asking “how’s college” (“you’ll have to ask it. We broke up a year ago”) , but for the most part, I loved living with my mom in Toronto! She is my best friend and we’re both super busy, so it was sweet to make food and do pilates together.

I moved out for a few months. I would barely see her, but I came home once a week for family dinner and we would just get drunk on red wine and then I’d pass out in my childhood bed anyway.

Then one day our housekeeper–she’s from the Phillipines–told me that I was actually being **selfish** by living alone instead of living with my family and being useful. For a WASP like myself, that was a completely different way of looking at things. I had this idea that living with family makes you a mooch. But the way she saw it, I could be helping out my mom with the tedium of daily life, or even just hanging out and asking things like ‘how was your day’ when she’d got home. Instead, she thought, I had gone AWOL and was flushing hundreds of dollars down the toilet each month in exchange for some silly sense of independence and easier access to cool bars.

So I moved back home again.

Granted, not everyone gets along with their family as well as I do.

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]]> By: Larry http://www.thegridto.com/life/finance/living-large-with-mom-and-dad/#comment-41594 Larry Fri, 16 Nov 2012 04:25:37 +0000 http://www.thegridto.com/?p=80349#comment-41594 " jobs are usually temporary, minimum wage, non-union, with no job security, benefits or upward mobility" The greatest part about this article is that it is published in the Grid, an outfit that shamelessly hires slaves to help create their content... have a look at what they call an internship program by clicking on their link at the bottom of the page. 4 months of unpaid work in exchange of a letter of reference. They cycle through slaves in several different departments (photography, fact-checking, food-writing, etc..) No wonder the Grid promotes living at home, that's where all their employees have to live while they wait to get their letter of reference. ” jobs are usually temporary, minimum wage, non-union, with no job security, benefits or upward mobility”

The greatest part about this article is that it is published in the Grid, an outfit that shamelessly hires slaves to help create their content… have a look at what they call an internship program by clicking on their link at the bottom of the page. 4 months of unpaid work in exchange of a letter of reference. They cycle through slaves in several different departments (photography, fact-checking, food-writing, etc..) No wonder the Grid promotes living at home, that’s where all their employees have to live while they wait to get their letter of reference.

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]]> By: Adult http://www.thegridto.com/life/finance/living-large-with-mom-and-dad/#comment-41459 Adult Tue, 13 Nov 2012 20:01:42 +0000 http://www.thegridto.com/?p=80349#comment-41459 This article presents that it is Ok to live with your parents when you are in your 20s. The negatiive image of 20somethings who still live at home should be maintained. It is bad for society to have a generation of lazy, self-entitled people. Adults living at home is not as prevelant in other Canadian cities as it is in Toronto. Maybe this is because many young people in Toronto dont often relocate for school or work. You are an adult. It is time that you grew up. Your parents looked after you and provided for you for the first 18 years of your life. You should not continue to burden them. Ounce you are in a career you should be trying to support your parents, not the other way around. There are some legitimate reasons to live at home (a sick parent, having a physical/ mental disability..) But just because you want to buy a house, save money.. ect doesn't mean that you should revert to the state of a child. This article presents that it is Ok to live with your parents when you are in your 20s. The negatiive image of 20somethings who still live at home should be maintained. It is bad for society to have a generation of lazy, self-entitled people. Adults living at home is not as prevelant in other Canadian cities as it is in Toronto. Maybe this is because many young people in Toronto dont often relocate for school or work.

You are an adult. It is time that you grew up. Your parents looked after you and provided for you for the first 18 years of your life. You should not continue to burden them. Ounce you are in a career you should be trying to support your parents, not the other way around.

There are some legitimate reasons to live at home (a sick parent, having a physical/ mental disability..) But just because you want to buy a house, save money.. ect doesn’t mean that you should revert to the state of a child.

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]]> By: Central Scrutinizer http://www.thegridto.com/life/finance/living-large-with-mom-and-dad/#comment-41442 Central Scrutinizer Tue, 13 Nov 2012 14:03:27 +0000 http://www.thegridto.com/?p=80349#comment-41442 I am a parent of a twenty-something who lives at home. I feel very conflicted (and guilty for feeling conflicted) about this. I left home as soon as I got a job after university and never went back. that was in the early '80's and unemployment for the 18-24 year old demographic was at an all time high. Even then the thought of sleeping in my childhood bedroom and sitting on a suburban bus for a half hour just to get to the nearest subway station after years of relative freedom at school were stressful. I had my share of crappy apartments and inconsiderate roommates, but even at it's worse, I never considered moving home. Nor would my parents have really been too thrilled I was back. In those days, once you left, that was usually it. None of my siblings ever lived at home after 21 or 22 either. I'm pretty sure my son feels the same mix of frustration with living with me and gratitude that he can, that I did at his age. While our relationship is very different than the one I had with my mom & dad and I really enjoy his company, I am nearing retirement and having to make some choices about keeping my house vs downsizing. The longer he takes to finish school and get settled, the longer I will be here silently worrying about the toll his career/financial streses are taking on his confidence and delaying my own "launch" to the next stage of my life. A lot of my friends are in the same situation. While we love being able to provide a soft place to land for our adult kids when they need it, we also know that it sucks that it has worked out that way for so many due to economics. Nothing would make us prouder or more satified than to see our kids "settled" and happy, on their own, as they desperately want to be! I am a parent of a twenty-something who lives at home. I feel very conflicted (and guilty for feeling conflicted) about this. I left home as soon as I got a job after university and never went back. that was in the early ’80′s and unemployment for the 18-24 year old demographic was at an all time high. Even then the thought of sleeping in my childhood bedroom and sitting on a suburban bus for a half hour just to get to the nearest subway station after years of relative freedom at school were stressful. I had my share of crappy apartments and inconsiderate roommates, but even at it’s worse, I never considered moving home. Nor would my parents have really been too thrilled I was back. In those days, once you left, that was usually it. None of my siblings ever lived at home after 21 or 22 either. I’m pretty sure my son feels the same mix of frustration with living with me and gratitude that he can, that I did at his age. While our relationship is very different than the one I had with my mom & dad and I really enjoy his company, I am nearing retirement and having to make some choices about keeping my house vs downsizing. The longer he takes to finish school and get settled, the longer I will be here silently worrying about the toll his career/financial streses are taking on his confidence and delaying my own “launch” to the next stage of my life. A lot of my friends are in the same situation. While we love being able to provide a soft place to land for our adult kids when they need it, we also know that it sucks that it has worked out that way for so many due to economics. Nothing would make us prouder or more satified than to see our kids “settled” and happy, on their own, as they desperately want to be!

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]]> By: Living in Winnipeg http://www.thegridto.com/life/finance/living-large-with-mom-and-dad/#comment-41435 Living in Winnipeg Tue, 13 Nov 2012 03:41:22 +0000 http://www.thegridto.com/?p=80349#comment-41435 I moved to Winnipeg. Cheaper Mortgage payments means I can spend my extra Borden's on parties. Winnipeg may not be glamorous but it's a hell of a lotta fun. I moved to Winnipeg. Cheaper Mortgage payments means I can spend my extra Borden’s on parties.
Winnipeg may not be glamorous but it’s a hell of a lotta fun.

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]]> By: A Different Chris http://www.thegridto.com/life/finance/living-large-with-mom-and-dad/#comment-41422 A Different Chris Mon, 12 Nov 2012 23:38:58 +0000 http://www.thegridto.com/?p=80349#comment-41422 I moved back in with my folks for about a year in my 20s after my "starter marriage" imploded. I'm lucky in that they're great people and we're a close family. That said, after I had managed to get my money back in order and my mind a little more settled, I was pretty pleased to be out of there, and my folks, while loving and supportive, were happy to go back to empty nest living. I moved back in with my folks for about a year in my 20s after my “starter marriage” imploded. I’m lucky in that they’re great people and we’re a close family.

That said, after I had managed to get my money back in order and my mind a little more settled, I was pretty pleased to be out of there, and my folks, while loving and supportive, were happy to go back to empty nest living.

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