My three-year-old son Emile has finally recovered from his recent surgery and begun packing on the pounds he lost while unable/unwilling to eat. During the nearly two-week recovery following the removal of his adenoids and tonsils we, of course, offered him plenty of soft sweets—popsicles, Jell-O, ice cream, pudding, and Kinder eggs. The highlight was a batch of Yo Gabba Gabba cupcakes (hand-delivered by some amazing friends at their young daughter’s behest), which blew his little mind. (He ate Brobie first, obviously.)

But what also blew his mind was all the sugar.

Now, my wife and I are not fascists about sugar, but we are pretty hardcore. As far as E is concerned, chocolate milk is unsweetened chocolate almond milk, which has zero sugar. We don’t have juice in the house, so that’s something that he usually gets only at birthday parties or daycare functions. I take him to the Brazilian Bakery on occasion so we can get custard tarts and on hot days we’ll duck down to the gelateria—but both are special treats. We just don’t have sweets lying around, so he doesn’t often ask.

Oh, but he’s sure asking for them now. During that first week post-op, E refused almost everything, including sweets, so when he finally started eating we gave him whatever he wanted. But now he has a taste for it. He wants ice cream for breakfast, dessert after every meal, and, rather than his usual water, he keeps requesting juice, a.k.a. the devil’s drink.

We have always preferred to give Emile fruit as a treat. It’s nature’s candy, after all, and we always keep a wide variety in stock. So we’re now slowly weaning him off the empty calories and back onto the fruit, which has fibre and vitamins mixed in with its fructose.

And when I say wean, I’m not kidding. Sugar is basically a drug, as anyone who has seen their child’s personality change while candy, cake, or cookies work their black magic will tell you. It revs them up as the blood-sugar surge sparks a subsequent insulin spike, then brings them crashing down.

And, of course, there’s the whole childhood obesity epidemic, much of which can be attributed to the added sugar that is prevalent in most processed foods as well as sweets. (Exercise is vital to stay fit and healthy, but caloric intake is what ultimately determines weight.) The U.S. Center for Disease Control says that 44 per cent of toddlers are consuming sugary beverages daily—another study found half (!) of seven- and eight-month-olds are, too—and that the amount of calories in a young child’s average diet has gone up by 83 per cent.

And no wonder: The kid-targeted food industry has been jacking up the sweetness. The What to Expect site claims that “70 per cent of foods aimed at children—even those that claim to be nutritious—are loaded with added sugar.”

In Canada, it’s no better with another study finding over half of foods aimed at babies and toddlers had more than 20 per cent of their calories from sugar (or its sneakily named variants like high-fructose corn syrup, fruit-juice concentrate, sucrose, glucose, dextrose, cane juice, malt, molasses, lactose, honey, ethyl maltol, and maltodextrin).

Anti-sugar activists like pediatric endocrinologist Robert Lustig, who in late February co-authored a Nature article called “The Toxic Truth About Sugar,” argue sugar is poison and should be regulated like alcohol, through measures like additional taxes or sales bans around schools. This seems a mite excessive.

I remember going to the corner store near my elementary school and stocking up on penny and nickel candies and certainly wouldn’t want to deny that pleasure to my son. Candy, cookies, cupcakes, ice-cream, and chocolate are a kid’s only real options for vices—but, like any vice, access and amount should be tightly controlled. And that’s where parents need to parent.

The easiest thing to do is limit the added-sugar items in your house, be it obvious ones like sweetened breakfast cereal or insidious like “naturally flavoured fruit snacks” that boast of being organic and suitable for toddlers but have 6 grams of sugar in every 10 gram snack. It’s easy to blame the outside world, where places like the Science Centre spread candy piles all over the cafeteria in hopes of encouraging a meltdown-preventing purchase. But the Mayo Clinic actually says “more added sugars are consumed at home than at school, out of vending machines or at restaurants.”

We’re super lucky that Emile generally doesn’t have a sweet tooth. The first time we gave him proper sugar was the angel food cake my wife made for his very first birthday, but he just ate the strawberries off it and ignored the rest. Nowadays, I’ll buy him a lollipop and he’ll have a few licks and then wrap it back up for later. Same goes for ice cream, where he’s satisfied with a big bite and then puts the container back in the freezer. I have no idea how much of that is his personality and how much if it is due to our initial limiting of his sugar intake. A combination, maybe, but it’s a good balance that gets both him and us what we want. And it’s a combination we’re returning to.

Denying kids sweets altogether is cruel and inhuman punishment—and would eventually backfire as your kid gets older and sources it from elsewhere. The amount of happiness that those Yo Gabba Gabba cupcakes gave E was incredibly appreciated during a really tough time for him. But we still need to monitor and limit his sugar intake as much as is reasonable—or all that sweetness will turn sour.

Green = Vegetarian option

Blue = seafood option

Name: AAA Bar

Address: 138 Adelaide St. E., 416-850-2726

Slinging burgers since: September 2012

Burger Boss: Dan Vildaley

Specialty: Texas-style barbecue, like brisket and ribs, smoked using oak wood.

Their $5 Burger Week special: The Chopped Beef Sandwich—oak-smoked AAA beef chopped and topped with bourbon-maple BBQ sauce.

Fine print: Closed for lunch.

Fun fact: Drink specials like $3 tequila shots and $5 pints of beer are always on offer.

Name: Big Smoke Burger

Address: Eaton Centre, Urban Eatery, 416-593-8880; 50 King St. E., 416-947-9500; 573 King St. W., 416-596-6660; 830 Yonge St., 416-922-8585.

Slinging burgers since: November 2007

Burger Boss: Mustafa Yusuf

Specialty: The namesake Big Smoke Burger with horseradish mayo, caramelized onions, smoked cheddar, tomato, and lettuce.

Their $5 Burger Week special: Green Goodness Burger—a six-ounce, grilled AAA ground chuck patty with lettuce, roasted red peppers, goat cheese, and a house-made “green sauce” made with cilantro, parsley, jalapeño, and feta cheese.

Fun Fact: The success of this Toronto-born burger shop means it’ll soon be expanding beyond Canadian borders. There are locations slated for Chicago, New York, Michigan, Kuwait, Saudi Arabia, Dubai, and Bahrain.

Name: BnB (Inside the Sheraton Centre)

Address: 123 Queen St. W., 416-361-6363

Slinging burgers since: June 2012

Burger Boss: Leanne Muir

Specialty: The regular menu has its own burger section, where you’ll find a surf ‘n’ turf burger ($12) topped with a lobster thermidor gratin.

Their $5 Burger Week special: BnB Bison Burger—a bison burger with arugula, cured tomato, garlic aioli, and Irish porter cheddar.

Fun Fact: Like pickles? BnB has a drink for that—their Pickle Brine-tini.

Name: BQM

Address: 354 Queen St. W., 416-792-7792

Slinging burgers since: Fall 2008

Burger Boss: Chris Horvath

Specialty: Though all the burgers at this joint are delicious, first-timers should go with the namesake BQM burger ($8 to $12) with carmelized onions, horseradish, and garlic aioli.

Their $5 Burger Week special: Freshly ground chuck patty with grilled pineapple, jalapeno, tomato, and curry aioli.

Fine print: Burger Week special is available between noon and 4 p.m. only, and is not available for take-out.

Fun Fact: On the regular menu, diners can choose whether their patty is made from the chuck, brisket, or sirloin. Those with gluten allergies can opt for their burgers to be wrapped in lettuce in lieu of a bun.

Name: Burger Brats

Address: 254 Adelaide St. W., 647-352-4786

Slinging burgers since: April 2011

Burger Boss: Raza Jafary

Specialty: The Adelaide burger ($7.49)—goat cheese, lettuce, tomato, red onions, garlic mayo, and maple-syrup barbecue sauce.

Their $5 Burger Week Special: The Smokeshack—ground-chuck burger with Canadian cheddar, bacon, onion ring, and smoky barbecue ranch sauce.

Fine Print: No call-in orders or orders after midnight Friday for Burger Week special.

Fun Fact: The shop has more than a dozen milkshake flavours like chocolate malt, strawberry Pop Tart, and orange Creamsicle.

Name: The Burgernator

Address: 269 Augusta Ave., 647-748-0990

Slinging burgers since: January 2013

Burger Boss: Amer Mokdad

Specialty: The burger shop has quite a few burgers on its menu, but the one that stands out is The Burgernator ($14.99)—triple beef patty with caramelized onions, sautéed mushrooms, and Burgernator sauce in between two grilled cheese sandwiches.

Their $5 Burger Week special: The Texas Ranger—a beef patty with smoked barbecue sauce, cheddar cheese, onion rings, and chili salsa.

Fine Print: Burger Week special is available for lunch only.

Fun Fact: The Burgernator has “weekly missions,” which are specials that run each week.

Name: e11even

Address: 15 York St., 416-815-1111

Slinging burgers since: November 2010

Burger Boss: Graham Pelley

Specialty: The Maple Burger ($25)—an eight-ounce Canadian prime-chuck patty with a maple sherry glaze, double-cut bacon, garlic aioli, and Guinness cheddar.

Their $13 Black Tie Burger Week Special: Nonna’s meatball—an American wagyu meatball burger with pomodoro sauce, mozzarella, parmesan, and fresh basil on an egg bun.

Fun Fact: There are over 3,200 bottles of wine in E11even’s wine cellar.

Name: Frank

Address: 317 Dundas St. W., 416-979-6688

Slinging burgers since: November 2008

Burger Boss: Jay Tanuwidjaja and Jeff Dueck

Specialty: The house brisket burger ($18).

Their $17 Black Tie Burger Week Special:

—Meat option: Beef patty, American cheddar, lettuce, tomato, shaved red onions, and crispy bacon.

—Seafood option: Shrimp and salmon patty with grilled marinated king oyster mushroom, lettuce, fiddleheads, and scallion ketchup.

—Vegan option: Chickpea and mushroom patty with spicy roasted peppers, lettuce, roasted garlic, and arugula pesto.

Fun Fact: Aside from having been designed by architect Frank Gehry, the restaurant also features an installation by painter and sculptor Frank Stella, making the restaurant’s name a no-brainer.

Name: Gangster Burger

Address: 607 Queen St. W., 647-352-3375

Slinging burgers since: September 2012

Burger Boss: Jonny Mackay

Specialty: The Dillinger ($7.99) made with a 6 oz. beef patty, caramelized onions, melted dill havarti, crispy bacon, chipotle mayo, gangster goo (a.k.a. spicy ketchup), lettuce, and tomato.

Their $5 Burger Week special: The Asian-inspred “Kim Du-han” made with a 6 oz. seasoned beef patty, sauteed kimchi, chipotle mayo, and a fried egg, topped with gangster goo.

Fun Fact: Kim Du-han was South Korea’s most infamous gangster.

Name: Hard Rock Café

Address: 279 Yonge St., 416-362-3636

Slinging burgers since: 1978 (at the Yonge & Dundas location)

Burger Boss: Pascal Couerdassier

Specialty: The legendary 10-oz. burger topped with seasoned bacon, two slices of cheddar, a crisp fried onion ring, lettuce, tomato, and pickles.

Their $5 Burger Week special: A trio of sliders (one pulled pork, one pulled chicken, and one cheeseburger).

Fine print: No take-out for Burger Week special.

Fun fact: The Seminole Indian Tribe of Florida acquired ownership of The Hard Rock Café brand in 2007.

Name: Insomnia Restaurant and Lounge

Address: 563 Bloor St. W., 416-588-3907

Slinging burgers since: 1998

Burger Boss: Daniel Quintas

Specialty: The Insomnia burger made with 8 oz. of Canadian beef, aged cheddar, lettuce, tomato, red onion, pickle, and garlic aioli, on a milk bun.

Their $5 Burger Week special: The General, made with a beef patty, thick cut maple-glazed bacon, caramelized onions, lettuce, and balsamic aioli, on a milk bun.

Fine print: Burger Week special is not available during weekend brunch, nor is it available for take-out.

Fun fact: The restaurant was originally a 24-hour internet café, hence the name.

Name: John and Sons Oyster House

Address: 56 Temperance St., 416-703-5111

Slinging burgers since: 2012

Burger Boss: John Belknap

Specialty: A tuna BLT that replaces bread with panko-crusted fried tomatoes.

Their $5 Burger Week special: A smoked Fanny Bay oyster slider, topped with crispy prosciutto, iceberg lettuce, chipotle aioli, and smoked Roma tomatoes.

Fine print: Burger Week special is available for lunch only, at both locations.

Fun fact: The ‘Sons’ in John & Sons are owner John Belknap’s eight-month-old and two-year old boys. He is hopeful that one day (in the distant future) they will work in the family biz.

Name: Real Sports Bar & Grill

Address: 15 York St., 416-815-7325

Slinging burgers since: June 2010

Burger Boss: Tony Glitz

Specialty: The Breakfast Burger, which is a cheeseburger topped with a fried egg, caramelized onions, and maple-smoked bacon on a classic burger bun.

Their $5 Burger Week special: A-pork-alyptic burger—spicy fennel sausage, cured bacon, BBQ pulled pork, peameal bacon, and bacon-maple mustard sauce.

Fun fact: Real Sports has 12 types of burgers and seven types of sliders. Since opening, they’ve sold over 200,000 burgers.

Name: SpiritHouse

Address: 487 Adelaide St. W., 647-277-1187

Slinging burgers since: Early 2012

Burger Bosses: Kendall Collingridge (chef), Len Fragomeni (owner)

Specialty: While the bar is known for its excellent cocktails, there’s a delectable menu with sharing plates like a trio of bourbon brushed mini burgers.

Their $5 Burger Week special: Canadian prime chuck, mustard-grilled patty, charred red onion relish, pickle, cheddar, SpiritHouse special “spread.”

Fine Print: Closed for lunch.

Fun fact: The cocktail bar has one of (if not the) best liquor stashes in the city, with over 400 different bottles on site.

Name: The Works

Address: 60 Wellington St. E., 416-594-9675

Slinging burgers since: 2012

Burger Bosses: Zaki Zahur, Kelly Roberts, and Brent Shearer.

Specialty: The burger chain lets you chose between six different patties (beef, chicken, turkey, veggie, mushroom, and elk), as well as hundreds of fresh toppings, to make for near limitless possibilities.

Their $5 Burger Week special: The Grid—chipotle ketchup, havarti cheese, four double-smoked bacon slices, and caramelized onions

Fun fact: Originally started in Ottawa, there are now over 20 locations of the restaurant in Ontario (and Nova Scotia) with more to follow.

See also: Burger Week preview—The West End

Burger Week runs May 29-June 1 at participating restaurants. On June 2, the restaurants will gather at Artscape Wychwood Barns (76 Wychwood) for Burger Day, offering all-you-can-eat sliders for $30. Click here for more information.

Thursday: One Night Stand Gala

The Burroughes, 639 Queen St. W. $100, tickets available online or at the door. Doors at 8 p.m.

At first glance, you might think this jam is a bit too pricey. But if you’re still on the fence about donating to a certain Kickstarter fund this week, perhaps you’ll reconsider and put that money to far better use. Tonight, the Hincks-Dellcrest Centre, a non-profit children’s mental health centre, will take to the top floor of The Burroughes in a bid to raise money and awareness for their cause. Hosted by David Sutcliffe (Gilmore Girls!) and Canada’s own Natalie Brown, tickets include a full bar, snacks, a swag bag, and a $50 gift certificate to Rosewater Supper Club. With more than one in five Canadian children suffering from a mental health problem, your $100 goes toward helping over 8,000 kids “through a variety of prevention, early intervention, outpatient, and residential treatment programs.” Find out more here.

Friday: ROMic-con

Royal Ontario Museum, 100 Queen’s Park. $12 adults, $10 students, available online. Doors at 7 p.m.

I know I’ve talked your ear off about the ROM’s Friday Night Live party series, but this one feels extra special: the ROMic-con edition! (Because Toronto hasn’t felt surreal enough lately.) Tomorrow night, bust out those Wonder Woman boots or that Dark Knight cape and teleport to the land of dinosaurs for a roaring party of cute nerds. The ROM is intent on celebrating “the superstars of nature and culture,” but I have a feeling people are going to get mad creative. The itinerary: a superhero retrospective on the ROM’s big screen, lessons on creating your own comics with a cartoonist, Google+ Hangouts with ROM conservation biologists, and a Second City improv show. Find out more here. And here’s some inspiration:

Friday: Sound & Vision, a Peaches after-party

Wrongbar, 1279 Queen St. W. $8 with Peaches Does Herself InsideOut ticket stub, $14 otherwise. Doors at 10 p.m.

After the TIFF screening of her debut rock opera doc, Peaches Does Herself, the Canadian anti-songstress took over The Drake Hotel for a building-wide bash: wild costumes, trans porn stars, 65-year-old strippers, champagne in your face, etc. During the InsideOut LGBT Film Festival, the film will screen once again and—of course!—there’s an after-party. With Peaches herself jumping on the decks, the jam will also see Austra’s Katie Stelmanis spin a set alongside other treats, like members of BoylesqueTO, Toronto’s all-male burlesque revue. Find out more here.

Saturday: #CrushTO’s 1st Annual Circus Spectacular!

Club 120, 120 Church St. $10 at the door. Doors at 10 p.m.

I can’t believe it’s been an entire year since I reported on the debut of the “I’ve Got A Crush On You” series, a.k.a #CrushTO. If you’re not familiar, here’s the deal: “a flirty event series for hot, nerdy people who want to make sex-positive like-minded friends.” That means everyone’s invited to vibe out. For the big milestone, the troupe of hosts will turn Club 120 into Sexy Time Circus: daredevils, red noses, and kissing booths! Oh, and I’m spinning some tunes for the night. Find out more here.

Wednesday: Sausage League, a weekly competition

Marben, 488 Wellington St. W. $25. Doors at 5:30 p.m.

At the beginning of May, the always-A+ Marben restaurant re-launched with a new feel—a Marben 3.0, if you will, featuring a delectable menu from chef Rob Bragagnolo and a refreshed basement lounge for more relaxed meals and cocktails—and a big screen if you’re sports-ing. To cap off the month, the Wellington resto is welcoming back Sausage League, an annual competition now in its third year. Here’s the deal: On summer Wednesdays, over a dozen local chefs and butchers will represent their restaurants in a sausage showdown. With two chefs competing each week, it’s an on-site battle royal. The regular season runs until July 17, and the playoffs take us through August, and the final goes down on September 18. (The winners will receive airfare for two to Chicago, and will have their names engraved onto the Froman Cup, which will be displayed in a new Sausage League shrine.) The $25 admission gets you two sausage dishes, two Muskoka beers, and a vote. Stay tuned here.

Green = Vegetarian option

Blue = seafood option

Name: Barque Smokehouse

Address: 299 Roncesvalles Ave., 416-532-7700

Slinging burgers since: April 2011

Burger Boss: David Neinstein

Specialty: Smoked brisket burger with candied smoked bacon and cheddar, and a side of corn, salad, fries, or soup ($14) available during lunch.

Their $5 Burger Week special: Smoked “ham burger” (pulled pork burger) with tomatoes, arugula, aged cheddar, and spicy tomato jam.

Fun Fact: The mouthwatering brisket takes 12 hours to cook in the restaurant’s 500-pound smoker.

Name: The Beet

Address: 2945 Dundas St. W., 416-916-2368

Slinging burgers since: February 2008

Burger Bosses: Erin Martin, Kahle Flaherty, David Cousins, and Stuart Vaughan

Specialty: Delectable organic fare, with lots of veggie and meat-centric options.

Their $5 Burger Week special: Spiced lamb kofta burger with yogurt cheese, spicy tomato jam, and cucumber on a sesame kamut bun

Fine print: No substitutions or take-out for Burger Week special, and no reservations.

Fun Fact: One of the kid’s meals here is called the “Beet box.” So punny!

Name: BQM

Address: 210 Ossington Ave., 416-850-1919

Slinging burgers since: Fall 2008

Burger Boss: Chris Horvath

Specialty: Though all the burgers at this joint are delicious, first-timers should go with the namesake BQM burger ($8 to $12) with carmelized onions, horseradish, and garlic aioli.

Their $5 Burger Week special: Freshly ground chuck patty with grilled pineapple, jalapeno, and curry aioli, lettuce, and tomato.

Fine print: Burger Week special is available between noon and 4 p.m. only, and is not available for take-out.

Fun Fact: On the regular menu, diners can choose whether their patty is made from the chuck, brisket, or sirloin. Those with gluten allergies can opt for their burgers to be wrapped in lettuce in lieu of a bun.

Name: The Caledonian

Address: 856 College St., 416-547-9827

Slinging burgers since: October 2010

Burger Boss: Sara Phillips

Specialty: The half-pound Caley Burger with red onion, tomato, Kosher dill pickle, and chips ($12).

Their $5 Burger Week special: The Highland Haggis Burger—traditional Scottish haggis burger topped with caramelized onions and whisky cheese sauce.

Fine Print: Burger Week special is only available during dinner, and is not available for take-out.

Fun Fact: Show up to the pub in a kilt during Burger Week at the city’s only Scottish Public House and Whisky Bar and get a free dram (whisky sample).

Name: The Dakota Tavern

Address: 249 Ossington Ave., 416-850-4579

Slinging burgers since: December 2006

Burger Boss: Mike Cross

Specialty: The Dakota Burger ($11) with a massive 8-oz. patty.

Their $5 Burger Week special: The Dakota Daddy Burger—brisket/hanger steak/chuck blend with grilled Vidalia onion, cheddar, lettuce, tomato, house-made pickle, and chipotle mayo.

Fine Print: Closed for lunch.

Fun Fact: CMT films a concert series (aptly called The Dakota Sessions) at this intimate concert venue that has featured artists like Ron Sexsmith and Gord Downie.

Name: Dave’s on St. Clair

Address: 730 St. Clair Ave. W., 416-657-3283

Slinging burgers since: November 2010

Burger Boss: Liz Guerrier

Specialty: Dave’s Burger—house-ground beef chuck with house-made tomato jam, aioli, arugula, cheddar, and crispy onions on a homemade potato bun with fries ($12).

Their $5 Burger Week special: Ground beef patty with arugula, horseradish aioli, home-made pickles, and shaved red onion on a house-made potato bun.

Fine Print: Closed for lunch Wednesday and Thursday. Burger Week special is not available for take-out.

Fun Fact: Dave’s not here, man. The restaurant is actually named after the previous tenant, Dave’s Gourmet Pizza.

Name: Emma’s Country Kitchen

Address: 1108 St. Clair Ave. W., 416-652-3662

Slinging burgers since: July 2012

Burger Boss: Rachel Pellett

Specialty: The “I know what you did last night burger”—available on the weekend brunch menu—is a house-made sage-and-onion sausage burger topped with cheddar, bacon, lettuce, tomato, onions, ketchup, and garlic mayo on a house-made bun.

Their $5 Burger Week special: Corn-and-chickpea Burger—a crispy corn and chickpea fritter with lemon-basil mayo, shaved cucumber, pickled red onion, and baby arugula.

Fine Print: Burger Week special is available for lunch only.

Fun Fact: The restaurant will also be serving burger donuts ($3), as seen on Donut Showdown, on June 1.

Name: The Emerson

Address: 1279 Bloor St. W., 416-532-1717

Slinging burgers since: November 2012

Burger Boss: Kyle Kadas

Specialty: The namesake burger ($12). It’s a brisket/chuck/ribeye patty with Beemster cheese sauce, caramelized onions, garlic aioli, lettuce, tomato, and a Kosher pickle.

Their $5 Burger Week special: Lucky you—they’re serving the deliciously gooey Emerson Burger for only $5.

Fine Print: Closed for lunch. And no take-out for Burger Week special.

Fun Fact: Look around the restaurant for mementos from the staff, like a paycheque from an old job, antiques from the family farm, and a framed menu from Niagara Street Café.

Name: GameDay

Address: 614 College St., 647-349-9464

Slinging burgers since: November 2012

Burger Boss: Chrissy Maduri

Specialty: The Gameday Cheeseburger ($11) is a customer favourite—a juicy ground-beef patty spiced with chimichurri and topped with tomatoes, lettuce, red onions, pickles, and melted cheddar cheese on a toasted bun.

Their $5 Burger Week special: Lucky you—you get to try the GameDay Cheeseburger for just $5.

Fine Print: Closed for lunch.

Fun Fact: Over 40 wing flavours on the menu, including one called “Like a Man.” That one’s hot.

Name: The Gladstone Hotel

Address: 1214 Queen St. W., 416-531-4635

Slinging burgers since: Unverified, but the hotel is turning 125-years-old next year.

Burger Boss: Michael Smith

Specialty: The vegan taro burger ($14).

Their $5 Burger Week special: The Gladstone Burger—a beef short-rib burger with tomato marmalade, pickled red onions, lettuce, and Kozlik’s mustard. The short-rib can be substituted with a house-made vegan taro-root burger.

Fine Print: No take-out for Burger Week special. Available for lunch and dinner until 10 p.m. Limited number of taro burgers will be available each day.

Fun Fact: The hotel sold 775 Burger Week burgers last year.

Name: The Good Fork

Address: 2432 Bloor St. W., 647-352-5955

Slinging burgers since: 2011

Burger Boss: Tolga and Ali Yalcin

Specialty: The Original burger, made with hand-pressed Angus beef, and topped with crispy onions, gruyere, and rémoulade on a pretzel bun.

Their $5 Burger Week special: A grilled cheeseburger made with smoked Gouda on Fred’s ancient grain bread, and topped with shallot tarragon jam, and rémoulade.

Fun fact: Brunch is served seven days a week at The Good Fork!

Name: Habits Gastropub

Address: 928 College St., 416-533-7272

Slinging burgers since: 2011

Burger Boss: Luis Martins

Specialty: The Habits burger made with brie-stuffed fresh Ontario beef, puttanesca relish, pancetta, and house-made spicy ketchup.

Their $5 Burger Week special: A short-rib and smoked-cheddar stuffed burger with roasted citrus-beet relish on a brioche bun.

Fine print: Closed for lunch.

Fun fact: An entire wheel of brie is smoked for each batch of the current Habits burger!

Name: Hadley’s

Address: 940 College St., 416-588-3113

Slinging burgers since: 2010

Burger Boss: Eric Hadley and Lex Taman

Specialty: The house burger made with an 8-oz. patty of 100 per cent house-ground chuck topped with smoked cheddar, and homemade bacon.

Their $5 Burger Week special: A ground chuck and bacon patty with pineapple relish, smoked provolone, and wasabi mayo.

Fine print: Closed for lunch Wednesday.

Fun fact: Hadley’s was featured on You Gotta Eat Here! for their dish The Remedy that consists of poached eggs on a bed of hash, topped with pulled pork, smoked cheddar, and hollandaise.

Name: The Happy Hooker

Address: 887 Dundas St. W., 647-769-4243

Slinging burgers since: 2013

Burger Boss: Attilio Pugliese

Specialty: A double patty blue-marlin burger.

Their $5 Burger Week special: A crispy shrimp patty with lettuce, jalapenos, tomato, two strips of bacon, and tartar sauce.

Fun fact: Pugliese worked at Queen Margherita Pizza, and opened (the now closed) Tavolino.

Name: Hey Meatball

Address: 719 College St., 416-546-1483; 89 Roncesvalles Ave., 647-748-0439

Slinging burgers since: 2011

Burger Boss: Rodney Bowers

Specialty: The Burgerball made with three beef balls, special sauce, pickles, lettuce, and cheese on a sesame seed bun.

Their $5 Burger Week special: Two grass-fed beef patties topped with cheese, lettuce, tomato, and spicy special sauce on a ciabatta bun.

Fun fact: The College Street restaurant recently appeared on an episode of Guy Fieri’s Diners Drive-Ins and Dives.

Name: Hogtown Pub and Oysters

Address: 633 College St., 416-645-0285

Slinging burgers since: 2012

Burger Boss: Darryl Brown and Josh Dalton

Specialty: The Hogtown signature burger that consists of a house-made patty, topped with lettuce, tomatoes, pickles, fried onions, bacon, cheddar, barbecue sauce, and a fried egg.

Their $5 Burger Week special: The Hogtown Burger Week Special—a chuck patty with truffle aioli, topped with moliterno cheese, lettuce, and tomato, wrapped up in a corn tortilla (2 per order).

Fine print: Closed for lunch.

Fun Fact: Renamed The Hogtown Pub & Oysters in 2012, the restaurant was previously known as The Auld Spot.

Name: Indie Ale House

Address: 2876 Dundas St. W., 416-760-9691

Slinging burgers since: 2012

Burger Boss: Jason Fisher

Specialty: The Smoke House Burger made with a brisket/sirloin/short-rib/chuck patty topped with smoked brisket, smoked gouda, and Old Bay mayo.

Their $5 Burger Week special: Beastiality—a brisket/sirloin/short-rib/chuck burger topped with pulled pork, adobo barbecue sauce, avocado crema, and fresh mozzarella.

Fine print: No take-out for Burger Week special. Not available after 7 p.m. on Friday or Saturday.

Fun fact: Indie Ale House is a brewery by licence, not a brewpub. Don’t call it a brewpub.

Name: Kitch Bar

Address: 229 Geary Ave., 647-350-4555

Slinging burgers since: 2012

Burger Boss: Bryan Jackson

Specialty: Nachos! Kitch has over 22 types on their menu.

Their $5 Burger Week special: The Nacho Average Burger, made with a beef patty, topped with crunchy, cheesy nachos, pico de gallo, guacamole, and jalapenos.

Fine print: Closed for lunch.

Fun fact: There are 45 vintage speakers above the bar.

Name: The Lakeview

Address: 1132 Dundas St. W., 416-850-8886

Slinging burgers since: 1932

Burger Boss: Fadi Hakim, Daniel Greaves, Evan Jonsen, and Alex Sengupta

Specialty: The Lakeview’s signature burger, made with peameal, melted cheddar, grilled Portobello, and an onion ring.

Their $5 Burger Week special: The Golden Handshake, made with a beef patty, topped with maple caramelized onions, lemon-chive mayo, and onion fritters, with fries, and salad with honey-balsamic vinaigrette.

Fine print: Burger Week special not available during late-night or weekend-brunch service.

Fun fact: The Lakeview started to stay open 24-hours during World War II to feed workers at the nearby Massey Ferguson factory. Also, scenes from the movie Cocktail were filmed here.

Name: Fidel Gastro’s Lisa Marie

Address: 638 Queen St. W., 647-748-6822

Slinging burgers since: 2013

Burger Boss: Matt Basile

Specialty: Lisa Marie’s house burger, The Americana, is topped with lettuce, tomato, pickle, onions, cheese, bacon, and a fried egg.

Their $5 Burger Week special: The General Wow, made with coarse ground beef topped with house-made pineapple chili ketchup and banh mi slaw.

Fine print: Burger Week special is only available for lunch Thursday, Friday, and brunch on Saturday.

Fun fact: All of Matt Basile’s three ventures pay homage to Elvis—from the bust that graces every Fidel Gastro pop-up, to a food truck named Priscilla, and now Lisa Marie (the youngest business named for the youngest Presley).

Name: Mildred’s Temple Kitchen

Address: 85 Hanna Ave., 416-588-5695

Slinging burgers since: 2008

Burger Boss: Donna Dooher

Specialty: The MTK hand-crafted burger topped with tomato relish and crispy tobacco onions, served on a pain au lait bun.

Their $5 Burger Week special: An herb and garlic burger with mushroom ragout, pecorino, arugula, and charred scallion aioli on ciabatta.

Fine print: Burger Week special not available during Saturday brunch.

Fun fact: MTK knows how to have fun. Back in 2010, Mildred’s garnered international attention for their Valentine’s Day, um… bathroom sex “promotion.”

Name: Murrays Sandwich Emporium

Address: 671 Queen St. W., 647-345-7644

Slinging burgers since: 2010

Burger Boss: Anthony Tsavdaris

Specialty: The Burgster, a 6 oz. homemade Murray burger with lettuce, tomato, and Murray mayo.

Their $5 Burger Week special: The Out n’ In McBurg made with two all-beef patties, and topped with American cheese, lettuce, tomato, sautéed onions, and Murray mayo.

Fun fact: Murray’s is named after Tsavdaris’ dachshund, and the restaurant was featured on You Gotta Eat Here!

Name: Rock Lobster Food Co.

Address: 110 Ossington Ave., 416-533-1800

Slinging burgers since: December 2012

Burger Boss: Matt Dean Pettit

Specialty: This seafood and cocktail spot is best known for its famed lobster roll.

Their $5 Burger Week special: The Surf & Turf—ground chuck, Old Bay seasoning, Nova Scotia lobster, lettuce, and garlic-and-lemon mayo on an egg-washed bun.

Fine print: Closed for lunch.

Fun fact: Rock Lobster first gained popularity as a vendor at the Toronto Underground Market in early 2011 and opened up an Ossington Avenue restaurant just over a year later.

Name: The Rude Boy

Address: 397 Roncesvalles Ave., 416-533-3269

Slinging burgers since: March 2013

Burger Boss: Liam Kelly

Specialty: The Rude Boy burger with house-cured peameal and bacon, garlic aioli, pickled red onions, and Blanche de Chambly mustard.

Their $5 Burger Week special: Brisket/chuck patty with house-cured tongue pastrami, bacon Thousand Island dressing, Gruyere, and Rude Boy sauerkraut.

Fun fact: The restaurant has a 1920s Curtis beer fridge they’ve nicknamed Kurtis Blow.

Name: Samuel J. Moore

Address: 1087 Queen St. W., 416-897-8348

Slinging burgers since: March 2013

Burger Boss: Alexandra Feswick

Specialty: The hand-chopped sirloin and marrow burger, with stilton, fennel catsup, and thick cut fries.

Their $5 Burger Week special: Chopped sirloin burger with beef bacon, aged cheddar, pickles, and homemade ketchup on brioche.

Fine print: Closed for lunch.

Fun fact: The restaurant is on the ground floor of the Great Hall, and it’s named after the businessman who built it in the 19th century.

Name: Shakey’s

Address: 2255 Bloor St. W., 416-767-0608

Slinging burgers since: 2010

Burger Boss: Chris Lundy

Specialty: This sports bar does a mean burger, made with organic beef from Rowe Farms.

Their $5 Burger Week special: Porchetta-style pork burger with braised bitter greens and smoked asiago “Cheese Wiz.”

Fun fact: Unusual for a sports bar, everything is made in-house, and the kitchen even puts out a good black-bean veggie burger.

Name: South St. Burger Co.

Address: 1020 Islington Ave., 416-239-8957.

Slinging burgers since: 2005

Burger Boss: Jay Gould

Specialty: Flame-grilled, made-to-order burgers using antibiotic- and hormone-free beef, which can be crowned with over 25 toppings.

Their $5 Burger Week special: The Jerk Burger with jerk mayo, spicy mango salsa, creamy goat cheese, and crisp lettuce.

Fun fact: After Burger Week, South St. Burger Co. will be launching four new signature burgers: The True North, The Nacho, The Hawaiian, and Mushroom & Swiss.

Name: The Stockyards Smokehouse & Larder

Address: 699 St. Clair Ave. W., 416-658-9666.

Slinging burgers since: 2009

Burger Boss: Thomas Davis

Specialty: The place has made a name for itself for its juicy griddle-smashed burgers, fried chicken, and smoked chicken and ribs.

Their $5 Burger Week special: Chicken fried-steak burger stuffed with smoked pimento cheese, topped with gravy mayo, sausage gravy, and pickled greens.

Fine print: No reservations.

Fun fact: The smoked ribs and chicken are only available on Tuesdays, Fridays, and Sundays.

Name: This End Up

Address: 1454 Dundas St. W., 647-347-8700

Slinging burgers since: March 2012

Burger Boss: Adam Urquhart

Specialty: The place is known for its craft cocktails and sandwiches, like the Better Mac, a grilled chuck burger with special sauce, lettuce, cheddar, pickles, and sweet onions.

Their $5 Burger Week special: Grilled ground chuck, seared hickory-smoked pork belly, tomato-and-apple chutney, white cheddar, umami mayo, and arugula.

Fun fact: Vintage signs are a prominent aspect of the sandwich shop’s décor, and there’s an old Brewer’s Retail (precursor to the Beer Store) sign that was purchased from a former employee of the booze magnate.

Name: Utopia Cafe & Grill

Address: 586 College St., 416-534-7751

Slinging burgers since: April 1995

Burger Boss: Peter Tassone

Specialty: Giant half-pound burgers, as well as an impressive selection of burritos and salads.

Their $5 Burger Week special: Italian sausage and beef patty topped with mozzarella, pesto aioli, and spicy roasted red-pepper ketchup.

Fun fact: All side and back bacon is cured and smoked in house and burgers are hand pressed fresh daily.

Name: The Whippoorwill

Address: 1285 Bloor St. W., 416-530-2999

Slinging burgers since: November 2012

Burger Boss: Tyler Cunningham.

Specialty: While the restaurant resembles a throwback diner, the kitchen remains ambitious—serving dishes like Thai flank steak salads and scallop ceviche. The Whippoorwill burger, with ground prime beef and Russian dressing remains a favourite.

Their $5 Burger Week special: Top butt and brisket, steamed white cheddar, sweet sandwich mustard, garlic pickle relish, and ballpark garnishes.

Fine print: Closed for lunch Wednesday and Thursday.

Fun fact: The Whippoorwill is a sister restaurant to Ossington’s Dakota Tavern (also a Burger Week participant).

Burger Week runs May 29-June 1 at participating restaurants. On June 2, the restaurants will gather at Artscape Wychwood Barns (76 Wychwood) for Burger Day, offering all-you-can-eat sliders for $30. Click here for more information.

SALES

■ Until May 30, the designer behind lifestyle brand 18 Waits, Daniel Torjman, sets up shop in Oz Studios (134 Ossington Ave.). Pick up apparel and accessories from Torjman’s past six collections at discounted prices—from $15 for tees to $75 for pants. Also on hand, albeit at regular price, will be the designer’s spring-summer 2013 collection, made from both Japanese- and Canadian-sourced fabrics. Hours are 10 a.m.–8 p.m. Visit 18waits.com for more details.

■ The Movie Wardrobe Sale returns to Pinewood Studios (225 Commissioners St., 647-837-3332) on May 25 (9 a.m.–5 p.m.). Hosted by members of The Canadian Alliance of Film and Television Costume Arts and Design (CAFTCAD), this biannual sale draws over 30 vendors—including film designers, stylists, and vintage dealers—for a sale on goods from local film and TV productions, accessories, and retro collectibles. Admission is $5. Free for CAFTCAD members, children, and seniors.

POP-UPS & EVENTS

■ Drop by King West’s Midnight MRKT on May 24 (8 p.m.–2 a.m.) for a bustling shopping night combining DJs, street food, clothing, artwork, and jewellery from over a dozen local retailers. Located at 2nd Floor (461 King St. W., 416-263-0122) above SPiN, confirmed vendors (so far) include Shoppalu, Worn Journal, Bird at the Window, Vitaly Design, and more.

■ Meet glass artist Kazumi Tsuji at her first Canadian solo exhibit at Mjölk (2959 Dundas St. W., 416-551-9853) on May 30. The face behind the Factory Zoomer line and based in Kanazawa, Japan, Tsuji will be on hand to show off her “Men-choco” collection—a modern interpretation of Kiriko glass craft—and her “Re-claimed Blue” limited-edition recycled glass line. A selection of plates, bowls, and glasses will be available to purchase at the event. Runs from 7 p.m. to 10 p.m.

NEWS

■ Perhaps not since the release of the ’80s film 9 to 5 have sneakers and skirts been a fashionable pairing. Enter Hi-Tec, a U.K.–based sportswear brand whose spin on performance sneakers takes kicks out of the gym and on to the streets. The line includes both lightweight suede and mesh sneakers in a palette of juicy summer colours and practical, neutral walking boots. Prices range from $60–$150 and are now available at Sears (290 Yonge St., 416-349-7111).

■ American style giant J. Crew has partnered with Toronto textile designer Virginia Johnson to introduce two new special tote bags in time for summer. Virginia Johnson for J. Crew features nautical-themed cotton canvas totes ($180) with beachy green lobster and shark prints. Available online at j.crew.com.

■ Josephson Opticians’ Brookfield Place location (181 Bay St., 416-861-1516) has just undergone a major renovation. Designed by Toronto-based design group Partisans—along with the owner’s nephew, Alex Josephson—the new layout is modelled after the human eye. Don’t worry: Josephsons’ array of designer eyewear is still well-stocked and ready for shoppers to peek at.

Know of any new shops, pop-ups, or major deals? Email thedrop@thegridto.com.

Gazela Vinho Verde, $8.95

Already a bargain, enjoy an extra dollar off this non-vintage Portuguese white until May 26. Chill well and open with grilled sardines.

Ponce notes: “With aromas of green apple, more spritz than the average Vinho Verde, and a crisp, dry finish, this refreshing, nine per cent white does a good impression of hard cider.”

Jacob’s Creek Moscato 2012, $10.95

You can save a buck on this medium-sweet Aussie sparkler, modelled after Italy’s Moscato d’Asti, until Sunday. Serve ice cold with spicy Indian take-out.

Ponce notes: “At only eight per cent alcohol, this lovely libation is the ‘Call Me Maybe’ of wines: It’s light and saccharine, but undeniably appealing, and goddamn if you aren’t holding out your glass for more.”

Carl Reh Riesling Kabinett 2010, $11.95

From Germany’s famed Mosel region, this off-dry Riesling is only 8.5 per cent alcohol, and a great match for tuna tartare.

Ponce notes: “The nose is classic Mosel with aromas of petrol, lime zest, and wet slate. There is a nice balance of ripe fruit and zesty acid, and while the finish is a bit short, remember: It’s only 12 bucks.”

Jess Toombs
Cocktail: Hail Garry
$14, at The Comrade (758 Queen St. E. 416-778-9449)

Until recently, spring was the cruelest season for Jess Toombs. “I used to have a lot of trouble coming up with drinks for springtime,” she says. Working at The Comrade, the east end’s temple to bourbon, she deals in the kind of straight-booze cocktails many people associate more with chillier weather. “But,” says the 25-year old Toombs, “I’m starting to figure out how to keep even a spirit-forward cocktail light.”

Her simple and savoury Hail Garry is evidence of success: a straightforward, light, crisp cocktail with a fresh smell and bittersweet body that finishes off with a strong smoked-spice note. It’s a bit dry, with a big punchline—perfectly appropriate for its namesake, comedian and actor Garry Shandling, one of Toombs’ heroes.

The drink was the result of the sort of brilliant, lateral inspiration that only a hangover can produce. One morning, after a raucous night Toombs woke up craving a fish sandwich and, intrigued by the smoked paprika with which she garnished it, decided the spice would mix well with brown liquor.

She might well have spent the rest of that hazy day catching up on old episodes of Shandling’s The Larry Sanders Show. A filmmaker and stand-up comedian, Toombs watches the program to get a glimpse of how some of her favourite comedians got started, drawing inspiration for stand-up routines and the horror-comedy films she writes and produces with her partners (they’re now working on their first feature).

“I’ve never had a really social job before this, so I love that I get to work here and try out my material on people,” she says. “I find that what works here goes over well on stage. And what doesn’t do well behind the bar fails on stage, too.”

Of course, it’s hard to miss with a great joke. Or, for that matter, with bourbon.

Jess Toombs’ Hail Garry

Basil Hayden’s bourbon + Campari + Smoked paprika syrup + Rosemary

All restaurant owners like to talk about how their business was born from love, but for Hiyam Samara and Akram Dow, their romance made Akram’s Shoppe possible. Eighteen years ago, Dow, who is from Lebanon, was operating a small nut store and falafel shop on Baldwin Street, in Kensington Market. Samara, who is from Syria, but had lived for many years in Venezuela, owned a clothing store nearby on Spadina, and had just bought a building across the street from Dow’s store. When they met, it seemed inevitable they would end up together. “He was a Druze and I am a Druze,” says Samara, as though their love were written in the stars.

The Druze are a religious and ethnic community that dates back to the 11th century. They began as an offshoot of Islam, but evolved into a distinct religious identity that draws from other Abrahamic faiths. Today, the Druze community spans an area bordering Syria, Lebanon, Israel, and Jordan, with whole families split apart by politics and war. “I have family in Haifa that I’ve never seen,” says Samara, who is from As-Suwayda, in southern Syria. “When my uncle died, I couldn’t even go to the funeral.” Each night, Samara stays up until two in the morning, watching Arabic news broadcasts of the war tearing apart her homeland, which she last visited back in 2005. “They are destroying one of the oldest civilizations on earth,” she says sadly.

Akram’s Shoppe specializes in classic Syrian cuisine with a Druze influence. “It’s entertainment for us,” Samara says of the business. “Here, I have guests. I never feel like they’re customers. I’m not working.” Anyone who comes into the small restaurant and store is greeted as habibi (Arabic for “baby”) by the smiling Samara. If they ask questions, she happily dispenses cooking advice, including the recipes for her own dishes.

There are innumerable places that look like Akram’s Shoppe in the city, each slinging cheap falafel and shawarma, tabouleh and baklava, that are almost indistinguishable from each other. Akram’s Shoppe sets itself apart because every single thing there is made from scratch, and is so light, fresh, and simply prepared, that it’s a stark reminder how this kind of food should taste.

Take the falafel. Instead of heavy bean spheres waiting to be reheated, at Akram’s, each falafel (made from mung and fava beans, with cumin, garlic, and coriander) is fried to order, in the shape of a small puck, so that it cooks evenly and achieves maximum crispness. The chicken shawarma on the spit is a quarter the size of others, because Samara and Dow want it to be as fresh and moist as possible. The tabouleh salad is chopped and mixed to order, so it’s never soggy, and the ful, a boiled fava-bean stew, is subtle and creamy, dressed simply with fresh tahini, parsley, onions, and olive oil.

The shop’s main draw is the combo plate, a special served with saffron- and turmeric-infused basmati rice and black lentils, chopped salads dressed in lemony tahini, and a choice of one of eight rotating main dishes. One day, these included a pinto and sweet potato vegan stew rich with allspice, a fish stew that had a strong current of cumin and coriander, spicy black bean chicken that was a mix of Middle Eastern and Latin American flavours, and a lamb kebab marinated in a dozen spices (allspice and onion predominate), grilled, then soaked in a tomato sauce so it’s incredibly flavourful and moist. The combo plate costs just $4.99, the falafel $2.

“That’s cheaper than you can buy it in Syria,” says Samara, who serves market locals, students, and tourists seven days a week. Akram’s Shoppe does a brisk takeout and retail business, and half the store is dedicated to the roast-flavoured nuts Dow is famous for, dried goods like couscous and preserved limes, as well as dips and spreads. There’s creamy garlic-laden hummus, marinated feta, babaghanoush with the taste of a grill’s smoke in the forefront, and a spicy paste made by boiling walnuts in homemade hot sauce for 24 hours, then puréeing it. The pastries they make in-house are sensational, ranging from small sesame cookies to bricks of halva (a sweet sesame seed terrine) and cubes of Turkish Delight.

Of all the dishes she serves, the kibbe is Samara’s point of pride. The egg-sized fried pastry of cracked bulgur wheat, stuffed with pine nuts and ground lamb, is crisp and piping hot, served with a garlic yogurt dip, also made in house. Each day, Akram’s Shoppe makes dozens of kibbe, though Samara says it can’t compare with the amount her mother would regularly make for her family—four uncles and 16 cousins—back in As-Suwayda. “She’d make 20 kilos at a time,” she recalls, shaking her head. “I grew up with too much food.”

Akram’s Shoppe, 191 Baldwin St., 647-351-3116.

1. Beef bacon

Back in Venasio’s non-kosher days (when he cooked at uptown restaurants Spacco and Alleycatz), his bacon was a mainstay among friends and family. For this kosher version, he dry-cures a fatty navel for 21 days in a salt and sugar rub. It’s then double-smoked for nine to 12 hours, cut thick, and baked to produce the salty, smoky centrepiece of the deli’s rabinically approved BLT.

2. Corned beef

Ben and Izzy’s beef comes from A.D. Rosenblatt, a boutique kosher ranch in Coke County, Texas. “It’s a full, full, full brisket, from 20 to 25 pounds,” says Venasio, who brines the briskets in a cure that includes bay leaf, clove, salt, sugar, and even cinnamon for up to two weeks. They’re then steamed for three to five hours before being sliced to order.

3. Pastrami

Ben and Izzy’s makes its pastrami from the navel cut (the belly of beef) instead of brisket (the lower chest)—the typical approach in New York, but unique among Canadian delis.  The pastrami is cured in salt and sugar for a week to 10 days, then rubbed with peppercorn and coriander. “We really lay the smoke on thick,” says Venasio, who uses a Southern Pride Smoke Chef, which looks like a giant metal refrigerator. It’s filled with oak, maple, pecan, or other available woods (“they’re all
good,” he insists), and the meat is slow-smoked for nine hours to get the signature deep flavour and dark crust.

4. Smoked meat

“I’ve been working on my smoked-meat spice mix for five years,” Venasio says, noting that he only really mastered it last month. The blend contains 11 different seasonings, including garlic, clove, thyme, and rosemary—it’s both spicy and aromatic, like an Indian herb garden—and is rubbed on cured briskets that are smoked for nine hours.

Bonus Meat: Tongue

Every week (usually on Thursdays), Ben and Izzy’s will offer a tongue special alongside their meats. Whole tongues are cured in the same pickling solution as the corned beef, then boiled, cleaned (the outer membrane is removed), and steamed until soft, almost like tender corned-beef sashimi. “Surprisingly, the younger generation has shown tremendous interest in tongue,” Venasio says. “They had it with their Bubbie and want to take a stab at it.”

Ben and Izzy’s, 3513 Bathurst St., 416-787-3354.

1. Classic white

Keeping it simple in separates lets you play with a whackload of whites. The key is diversity in your fabrics: A mesh-and-linen tee, smooth denim jeans, textured reptile belt, and soft silk blazer create plenty of interest, so the final look isn’t too, well, vanilla. Gold accents on the watch and shoes warm everything up.

Cartonnier blazer, $128, Anthropologie, 78 Yorkville Ave., 416-964-9700. Maje tee, $220, and Material Girl jeans, $30, The Bay, thebay.com. H&M belt, $7.95, hm.ca. Aldo shoes, $90, and watch, $35, aldoshoes.ca.

2. Casual white

You want to turn heads; you don’t want people squinting their eyes at the sheer luminosity of your outfit. Avoid that by mixing the three main shades of white: icy true white (the brightest of them all), warm pink-white (like seashells and super-pale roses), and soft yellow-white (ivory and French vanilla ice cream).

Topshop tank, $32, topshop.com. Free People denim cut-off shorts, $70, 79 Yorkville Ave., 416-515-1555. Zara kimono jacket, $119, zara.com. Hat, stylist’s own. Jewellery and shoes, model’s own.

3. Dress up or down white

A little white dress is summer’s perfect blank canvas: Sneakers make it daytime cool, while stilettos take you into night. If you’re hopping on the maxi trend, opt for dresses with light fabrics like cotton or linen and thin, finer straps—otherwise, you’re veering perilously close to bridal territory.

Talula dress, $110, Aritzia, aritzia.com. H&M headband, $7, hm.com. Converse shoes, $55, Get Outside, 437 Queen St. W., 416-593-7765.

4. Beginner white

For many dudes, the idea of an all-white ensemble conjures images of some enlightened backpacker wandering the beaches of Goa in head-to-toe linen. Doesn’t have to be that way. Just start slow, taking the basic bro dress code—blue jeans, white t-shirt, white sneakers—and switching up the colour of the denim. And maybe you want to give those jeans a DIY cuff: It looks good and it keeps your hem from dragging on the ground.

H&M tee, $7, hm.ca. Gap 1969 slim-fit jeans, $70, gapcanada.ca. Converse shoes, $60, Little Burgundy, 351 Queen St. W., 416-260-3448. Aldo sunglasses, $12, aldoshoes.com.

5. Advanced white

This might seem like a lot of look, but it follows a pretty simple formula. Your more formal whites—the jacket, the shirt, and, yes, the shorts—need to stay slim and tailored. (Too boxy a fit and you’ll resemble a sail.) Then break up the monotony with a few similarly coloured accessories: The belt, wingtips, and hat all give punches of navy blue. But pocket squares are meant to be fun. Green works well here, but a poppy red or deep magenta would do just as nicely.

Ben Sherman shirt, $85, 734 Queen St. W., 416-603-7437. Zara blazer, $159, shorts, $60, and hat, $26, zara.com. H&M belt, $20, hm.com. Aldo shoes, $65, aldoshoes.com.Vintage pocket square, $15, Courage My Love, 14 Kensington Ave., 416-979-1992.

Stains be gone

› Soak grungy garments in lemon juice and stick ’em out in the sun. The UV rays will gently bleach your clothes.

› Treat pit stains with two aspirin dissolved in a cup of warm water—the salicylic acid combats stains. Let sit for a few hours before you do a wash.

› Perform a vanishing act on spilled Shiraz by dabbing to soak up, covering with salt (it’ll keep the stain from spreading), then pouring club soda over the damage.

› Picnics mean grass stains, so here’s how to get rid of them: Rubbing alcohol + cold-water rinse + Tide-to-Go stick + 10 minutes to sit + second cold-water rinse + air dry. Wash normally.