February may be the chilliest month, but Come As You Are’s seventh annual Erotic Arts and Crafts Fair—a hub for DIY crafters and artists— provided glimmers of hotter times to come last Saturday at the Gladstone.
1. Dildos are safe
Contrary to your greatest fears, there is no chance a porcelain dildo or butt plug will crack or shatter inside of you. This guarantee was provided by vendor Maverick Studios, whose wares were all very pretty, and sturdy like a toilet, not fragile like a teacup. They also make nice paperweights.
2. Aluminum is for lovers
Aluminum cock rings aren’t nearly as popular as their synthetic counterparts (it’s a niche-within-a-niche market) but they look quite stylish in a Game-of-Thrones-in-your-pants-type-way. The gentleman (operating as Abraxas Metalworks) who fabricated them said they come in several different girths. There was no penile chain mail, however.
3. Waterproofing is important
If you’re going to invest in a handmade leather strap for a bit of fun à la Fifty Shades (minus the clunky metaphors), it’s important to waterproof it with mink oil to keep it in good working order. They also clean up nicely with glycerine soap, if you’re expecting to encounter much in the way of fluid. Actually, just assume you will encounter fluids.
4. The quainter the craft, the dirtier the product
Crochet isn’t exactly sex on fire. Crocheted pasties, however, are super cute. Going by the name of Sex on a Stitch, one vendor stumbled upon the process quite accidentally while crocheting amigurumi (the Japanese art of crocheting adorable anthropomorphic stuffed creatures). The breast was history, as they say. The pasties on sale featured everything from flaming dice to rocket ships, and they attach with double-sided tape.
5. Erotic baking is alive and well
The cupcakes decorated with labia-shaped icing looked good, but one wonders if getting the anatomy correct is just too time-consuming. Finally, another vendor’s sugar cubes, topped with miniature breasts and penises, turned out to be a tough sell.
