Mon Jan 30, 2012
Politics

“It doesn’t make sense”—a poem by Rob Ford

In his refusal to compromise on his subways-or-nothing approach to Toronto-transit planning, Rob Ford's repetitive rhetoric has taken on an almost poetic quality. A press conference this morning yielded his latest opus.

BY: Edward Keenan

I didn’t

Overstep my boundaries

I did

What the taxpayers

Want

They want subways

That’s it.

They don’t

Want streetcars.

I was

Out in Scarborough over the weekend

People came up to me

And said

They want subways

That’s it.

It’s the taxpayers

The taxpayers

Want

I was elected

On subways

They want subways

I was out on

Saturday

People want subways

That’s it.

It’s

All subways

It’s

All about subways

So, it’s

The taxpayers

That elected Me

To get the subways

In and that’s what

We’re going

To do.

It’s like winning

An election

So If they

Voted me in

That means I don’t win

an election?

It doesn’t

Make

Sense.

The above is a direct transcript of the mayor’s response to a series of transit-related questions posed by reporters in a media scrum this morning.

With apologies to Stuart Ross.

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Natalie

Wait, he’s been mayor for more than a year now, and he’s still unsure if he won the election?
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3:01 pm on February 29, 2012

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nisi

I want to hear William Shatner reading this poem…
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7:11 pm on February 11, 2012

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rouchos

People vote for many things and transit just might be one of these things (if not the biggest item on the agenda). But that still doesn’t mean it shouldn’t go to council. Either way, this talk over transit is getting stupid.

A) Transit, be it subways or streetcars won’t fix congestion. It doesn’t work that way as More Transit = Less Cars is not a Linear equation. If you want to fight traffic, that’s another question (how do we get people to travel less) that requires a different solution (congestion tax….dun dun duuuuun)

B) Ask two 16 year olds what car they want for their upcoming birthday: a Porsche or a Hyundai? I’d bet that most would say “Porsche”. But a Porsche costs considerably more than a Hyundai doesn’t it? If it weren’t a matter of cost its almost guaranteed that we’d see a lot more Porsche’s zipping around than Hyundai’s. The same analogy applies to Subways. Do you want a fast, underground new subway that serves less people and travels less distance, or do you want a half arsed 21st century fart can (LRT) that goes in to more neighborhoods and provides bad to mediocre service to more people?
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10:06 am on February 7, 2012

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Kate

There’s an acoustic version too:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dLamrZCORy0
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5:31 pm on January 31, 2012

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Nello

Are you going to Scarborough, Ford? /

Gravy, rage, elections, and time /

Remember me to one who lives there /

Subways are the true love of mine.
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12:17 pm on January 31, 2012

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Laura Godfrey

Here is a “They Want Subways” remix I created this morning because I am amused easily: http://khu.sh/usersong_4f28061512b34
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11:58 am on January 31, 2012

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ATG

Here’s the same transcript as a sort of talking blues.
http://soundcloud.com/anythingthatgrooves/talkin-subway-blues
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10:45 am on January 31, 2012

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Erin

I understand how easy and fun it is to repeatedly bash someone because of his looks or his policies, but instead of sitting around and repeating the same unfunny jokes about Fords incompetence, why don’t you channel that energy into something more constructive? You can only go on and on about the ‘smell’ of Fords mouth when he opens it for so long. Your no better than him until you can actually prove and demonstrate these legitimate issues you have with him at City Hall or in another productive outlet. Say what you will but until the of the day, if you think you are better than him, than show those ideas you have and share them with the public via film, essay etc. I am not a ‘Ford lover’ but be diplomatic about this.
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9:31 am on January 31, 2012

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br

Erin, if you have spent any time reading anything at all the Ed Keenan has written, you’d know very well that he has done exactly as you suggest – come up with some better ideas and shared them publicly. Many people who have disagreed with Rob Ford’s policies have come up with positive, constructive suggestions and solutions to our city’s problems. If you’re really not aware of any of this then you’re just not paying attention, sorry.
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11:42 am on January 31, 2012
scrimbro

Indeed, this seems to be the stock response from Ford supporters/apologists: “Oh yeah? Well maybe if you stopped making jokes about him, you could come up with some better ideas.” And then when better ideas are proposed, they simply don’t hear them.

I’m putting it out to all Ford supporters: exactly what is it about his past actions that make you confident he can deliver on the things you want? Stop thinking in terms of left-wing/right-wing nonsense and evaluate the man objectively. How will you get what you want by supporting him?
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12:28 pm on January 31, 2012

mun

This poem in rap form:
http://youtu.be/fWEU-BEfH8k
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1:09 am on January 31, 2012

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Mark Cidade

If voters really wanted subways, Sarah Thomson would have been elected mayor instead.
11 2

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10:02 pm on January 30, 2012

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RHM

I love how the Fords are always quoting these fictitious people who ‘come up to them’ to tell them they are ‘doing a good job’ and ‘stay the course’ etc. In fact at almost every press conference I’ve heard from the Ford’s they reference these phantom voters and, their favorite, ‘tax payers’, as some kind of junior-public-school-logic proof that they doing the right thing and have the support of the people….which they do not.

I’m a voter and his transit ‘plan’ is costly and asinine. He derailed a plan that took years and many levels of government to agree upon. Contracts were signed, shovels about to go into the ground. Ford halted the plan the minute he took office, cost Toronto many millions in legal penalties, and had no other plan to replace the well thought through Transit City, except to say “I want subways”.

This man is an incompetent on every level you can name. He is unfit for the office of Mayor on every level you can name.

He created a 320 million dollar deficit in a matter of months because of his bad ideas, based solely on blind ideology, void of fact or reason.

How much more damage this incompetent will do before his term is up is the only question that remains.
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9:52 pm on January 30, 2012

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Mike

I have a friend who–unaccountably–loves this guy!! She thinks he can do no wrong and blames the left wing media for being unfair. I don’t get her. She doesn’t get me. Rob Frod’s a visigoth, finding himself on the Roman throne with no idea how to build, only destroy. Fuck him and the horse he rode in on.
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11:47 pm on January 30, 2012

Robin

Whenever Ford opens his mouth, the room smells like an overturned truck filled with rotten eggs mixed with petrol. Ford = Gormless Manbaby with an IQ of Merde
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7:51 pm on January 30, 2012

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The Doctor

This man is simply too dumb to comprehend:

“It’s like winning an election so if they voted me in that means I don’t win an election?”

No stupid, it means along with you, we elected twenty-some-odd other people who you are no more important than. If you had paid even the slightest amount of attention durring your time on council (perhaps instead of chasing around reporters who accurately noted you’re a fat fuck – please don’t charge me with verbal assault!) then perhaps you wouldn’t be in this quandary.
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5:59 pm on January 30, 2012

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Chris

actually there were 44 other councillors voted in
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11:12 am on January 31, 2012

Dave

Very cool!
5 5

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3:58 pm on January 30, 2012

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Dave

Quick, someone send this to Margaret Atwood! She knows a great poem when she sees one!
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2:31 pm on January 30, 2012

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Jon B

I think we ahve a new entry for “Poetry on the Way” http://transit.toronto.on.ca/archives/data/200011061453.shtml
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2:29 pm on January 30, 2012

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