Wed Feb 27, 2013
Places

Graphic Content: What’s in a (network) name?

In the past few months, much has been made about the rise of passive-aggressive WiFi network names—using that tiny piece of digital real estate to call out anyone within router range. Here in Toronto, we’re surprisingly less catty, at least according to the super-scientific survey we did of some of the more memorable network names in random neighbourhoods. Here are the various types of handles we encountered.

Click here for a close-up/hi-res version of the chart below

Want to contribute to our super-scientific data set? Add your clever network names to the Comments section below.

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Me

SKYNET Global Relay is my mobile hot spot.
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8:07 am on March 7, 2013

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Chris

Rosewood Church of the Nazarene in Scarborough has “May God Bless you with the use of this WiFi”.

The Senior Pastor there has a great sense of humour.
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6:42 am on March 7, 2013

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Claire

RCMP Surveillance Horse
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12:23 am on March 7, 2013

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Dustin

tittymuckandtexastoast
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10:08 pm on March 6, 2013

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Dustin

GET OFF MY LAN!
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10:06 pm on March 6, 2013

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Dave Wickett

Mine is Quiet Panda
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7:49 pm on March 6, 2013

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Ronno

Mine is Smell-Map-Who and has followed me around to 4 different residences.
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6:36 pm on March 6, 2013

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Carl

Around my apartment there’s GayTown and YourNetworkNameSucks.
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5:10 pm on March 6, 2013

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Mark Z

And of course, I offer Ruby Robster and Crisco Cinnamon
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4:24 pm on March 6, 2013

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Mark Z

In my unit I can ALWAYS find ChuckNorrisAteMyHomework
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4:23 pm on March 6, 2013

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Benny

Currently picking up

Pirates Are Rad
Our House…
I am a Roman
and multiple “Bell###” generics
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2:09 pm on March 6, 2013

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Arron

I have used the Network name ‘Chuck Norris’ for a while. I might have to switch to ‘Spaceballs: The Wireless Network’ though That’s gold!
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1:59 pm on March 6, 2013

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funny one near Woolfits

Funniest one I’ve picked up is on Queen West – ” Computer says no “.
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12:44 pm on March 6, 2013

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skylr

Regular network is called “The Dark Side” so the you will be asked if your want to” join the dark side” when you want to connect.. Guest network is called “Starbucks” just to confuse people because there isn’t one in the town that I live in.
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11:39 am on March 6, 2013

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Frodo

Gates of Mordor
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11:35 am on March 6, 2013

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FaceSlap

In other news:

“Mounties in Alberta are warning homeowners about a fake wireless network claiming to be from the RCMP.

“Police say there have been two incidents in the Calgary area in which people with wireless routers noticed an unauthorized computer connection which identified itself as ‘RCMP Surveillance.’

“The owners contacted the RCMP, who told them that was not one of their computers.”
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11:16 am on March 6, 2013

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cyberkip

Sidney’s Left Hand

- Named after a 3-legged cat’s missing paw.
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10:20 am on March 6, 2013

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John

CSISsurveillance
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10:17 am on March 6, 2013

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spencer

Mine is Yavin 4. My neighbours recently setup DeathStar.
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6:21 pm on March 5, 2013

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corky

Yavin 4 I pick you up! Haha…small world! Hi neighbour!
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10:12 am on March 6, 2013

torontodude

nice article for a morning smile but…even the most secure home wi-fi networks can be hacked. sure you need some time and some abilities hi google/youtube…. it’s best NOT to draw attention to your network thereby making you a more likely target…stick to something generic and you’ll blend in reducing the risk of a targeted hack.to your network
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6:36 am on March 4, 2013

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Anonymous

Certainly, anything can be found to be insecure given enough time and the right information. However, your assumption that making yourself appear ‘generic’ reduces your risk of being targeted is faulty – most brute-force or wardriving takes place across all broadcasting SSIDs in a given physical zone, without regard for the name. You would be wise to research this topic more before commenting from on high.

I’m off to change my SSID to “hack my wifi, please!”.
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10:05 pm on March 6, 2013

Anonymous

I named mine after the time I stopped getting ‘free’ internet.

freeinternetdied
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8:19 pm on March 2, 2013

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NotthatJack

nCSIS device 529f is on my always on bluetooth device handle. That the first 5 letters are an acronym related to my non-spy job makes me smile.

Yes, juvenile, I know.
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7:16 pm on March 1, 2013

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Megs

Best one to avoid first time broadband theives: virus.exe
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3:54 pm on March 1, 2013

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Johnny

Johnny5 is alive!
(also, it’s my network!)
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12:52 pm on March 1, 2013

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Literary Character

OneDoesNotSimplyStealMyWiFi
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10:51 am on March 1, 2013

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Mary

Compu-Global-Hyper-Mega-Net
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10:07 am on March 1, 2013

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Walter

Beaver Feeding Team
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8:54 am on March 1, 2013

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Persepolis

Unicorns pooping bunnies
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7:59 am on March 1, 2013

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H.

Everybody Poops
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7:10 pm on February 28, 2013

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Lisa

Wu-Tang LAN
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1:08 pm on February 28, 2013

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Trevor

ACIDBURN in honour of the 1995 film “Hackers” (Angelina Jolie’s character is a hacker known as Acid Burn).

Another one is HACKER TRACKER.

Yeah, I realize there’s an ongoing theme here.
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2:27 am on February 28, 2013

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s

SKYNET
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12:08 am on February 28, 2013

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B.

Some filthy pig on Bloor St. had one named C__TBLASTER a few years back.
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11:14 pm on February 27, 2013

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N.C.

I got that one when I was inside Pizzaiolo in the Annex. Totally lost my appetite.
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8:12 am on March 5, 2013

LOLBRBY2K

York U campus memorable network names that I can roughly remember:

Stopcookingfish
MenoSpeekyEngrish
YesimBatman
YesimRobin
Yesimgay
BlutoTogaToga
UofT sux
Ninjacats9
Torrentz Allday
Abc123
HeldFork_AtYork
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10:33 pm on February 27, 2013

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itr0ll

Dirk_Diggler for ‘famous names’ that is what I use, except its

D1rkD1ggl3r
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10:19 pm on February 27, 2013

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SB

I used to live near one on Triller Ave that was “Triller Trash.”
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8:57 pm on February 27, 2013

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Greg

Someone in my range is using “Spaceballs: The Wireless Network”. I’m annoyed I didn’t think of it first.
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8:56 pm on February 27, 2013

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Peter

I usually go with “Viruses Galore!”
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6:40 pm on February 27, 2013

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the_dude

mine is ‘skynet’
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4:45 pm on February 27, 2013

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Walter

I think you live in my building, dude
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9:50 am on February 28, 2013
Anonymous

Mine is also ‘Skynet’… guess not so original…
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1:32 pm on March 6, 2013

Realist

My girlfriend’s neighbours pay tribute to Antoine Dodson with theirs: “HIDE YO KIDS HIDE YO WIFI”.

Genius.
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4:33 pm on February 27, 2013

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EliCash

Do you live near strachan ave?
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5:16 pm on February 27, 2013
Juarhela

I’ve seen this one!
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6:09 pm on March 2, 2013

KP

Someone in the neighbourhood was “Optimus Prime”. We made ours “Megatron”. Win.
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4:09 pm on February 27, 2013

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SB

Some on on my floor I’m my condo has this:

( . ) ( . )
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3:41 pm on February 27, 2013

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bradley

my favs from liberty village are bigbootyhoes and i’m watching you.
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3:32 pm on February 27, 2013

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dy

used to be “pen island” back when i lived in liberty village
moved to the junction and now we’re “pen island 2″
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3:19 pm on February 27, 2013

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kelvin

House of 1000 Corpses is the best one I’ve seen
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3:16 pm on February 27, 2013

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Anonymous

Pretty fly for a wi-fi has been done a million times.
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3:16 pm on February 27, 2013

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PixieDust

one of my neighbours’ was “asstomouthnotissueaftertoilet”
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3:15 pm on February 27, 2013

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Parkdale John

A couple years back, but I enjoyed “Vernon Wells Wallet”. It was appropriately a Rogers Cable Connection.
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3:01 pm on February 27, 2013

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L

the best one I ever saw was ”I Can Hear You Having Sex’
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3:00 pm on February 27, 2013

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Amy

Trojan.exe
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2:57 pm on February 27, 2013

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Paula Lafleur

So “Bill Wi The Science Fi” is mine… hahaha amazing.
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2:52 pm on February 27, 2013

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Raman B

me too! I guess we arent so original after all.
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10:49 pm on February 27, 2013

George

Not mine, but my favourite was:

ItsLockedBitches
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2:48 pm on February 27, 2013

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Me

My password-protected network is called Sharing is Caring.
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2:47 pm on February 27, 2013

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that backpack person

two neighbours’ networks:
My couch pulls out but I don’t
I pull out but my couch doesn’t
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2:46 pm on February 27, 2013

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Mark

Cool story, bro.
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1:55 pm on February 27, 2013

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