Twenty-some years ago, they turned frat-boy humour into an art form on their 102.1 The Edge morning show. Now, the older, wiser, still bodily-function-obsessed duo “Humble” Howard Glassman and Fred Patterson are back doing their act as a daily web podcast and proving that the terrestrial radio airwaves aren’t the only place to talk about pee.
The Humble and Fred podcast recently announced a partnership with Rogers. So they promote your show on their many properties, and you get a larger listenership and can charge more for sponsorship. Is that how making money in the podcast universe works?
F: Yes. And when you say to a potential sponsor, “We’re now on the Rogers radio platform,” that adds a lot of credibility. Our numbers go up, our sponsors are happy and, yes, we can charge more.
What if you want to trash Rogers on your show?
F: Well, we could, but would that be good business? No. There’s common sense. Would you trash a company you work for?
Definitely not on the radio. You’ve had a lot of recent success as radio renegades. Is there any particular nose you want to rub in it? Maybe some of the people who pushed you off the air?
F: There’s no one in particular, although I will say that we’re not particularly thrilled with the state of the radio business right now. A lot of people aren’t. We felt that there was room for our particular content, but certain people in key positions disagreed. And then, thank goodness, there’s this new vehicle to put our product out.
Besides being able to swear, what do you like about the podcast format as opposed to conventional radio?
H: I love the long-format aspect of things—the latitude and the luxury of being able to go off on a tangent, and also being able to keep a guest on for as long as we want. John Tory is a perfect example. We were having an interesting conversation, so what was supposed to be a shorter interview went on for almost an hour. When you only have two and a half minutes to speak, you can’t get much in.
What would you do if one of the major stations came begging and offering you bags of money?
F: You’d look at it.
H: Bags of money can be pretty enticing, especially when you’re not making much.
Has what you like to talk about changed much since you started out?
F: Sure. When we first started, I was in my early 30s and he was in his 20s. I had young kids and he had no kids. As you become more adult, there are issues and stories that interest you more than they may have before.
H: Yeah, I would say it’s a little more grown up.
This feels like the perfect time to discuss a recent Humble and Fred podcast that I just listened to. On it, you discussed salty balls, poo, pee, Gandhi’s pee…
H: Yeah, that is a fact about Gandhi’s pee, by the way. He drank his own urine every day.
F: And I just refuse to believe that. That’s how we got on the topic of how much you would have to be paid to drink someone else’s pee. He said he would do it for $50,000.
And I just happen to have brought along a cheque for $50,000…
H: Ha ha! I’m not drinking anyone’s pee anymore. So what were your impressions of the show then? Did you find us immature?
I found you funny. That particular discussion made me think of Fear Factor because they just had contestants drink donkey semen. Do you have a magic dollar number for that?
F: Here’s what I say: I wouldn’t let Howard lick inside my mouth, but I would let his dog lick inside my mouth. You see what I mean? So I would be more inclined to drink donkey semen than the urine of someone I know.
Are there any guests you are really keen to have on the show?
F: We haven’t heard back from the mayor’s office yet, but we’re hoping that will happen. We wouldn’t interview him about the city budget. We’d talk about normal, conversational stuff—losing weight…
H: …can he see his wiener when he’s naked?
How do you feel about the state of popular music? You were on The Edge during the peak of the grunge era, so obviously a lot has changed.
F: To be honest, I love new music. I like the Sheepdogs and Hollerado. My musical tastes are consistent with my 27-year-old son’s. I saw the Justin Bieber Never Say Never documentary on the weekend and I just loved it. I’m not big on the music, but my goodness, what a great story. He seems like a great kid. I don’t understand all the hate.
H: Yeah, it’s like Nickelback. It’s okay to say they’re horrible, but 50 million records have been sold, so somebody’s listening to them.
F: I don’t like their music, but I totally respect what they do. How could you not?
LIGHTNING ROUND!
BlackBerry or iPhone?
H: Android.
F: iPhone.
Romney or Gingrich?
F: If pressed, Romney.
H: Same.
Bieber or Drake?
Both: Bieber.
Sex, drugs or rock ’n’ roll?
Both: Sex.
Favourite local politician?
H: No one since John Tory.
F: Not Adam Vaughan.
Word to describe Howard Stern?
H: Brilliant.
F: Great.
Last meal on Earth?
H: Chinese food.
F: My mother-in-law’s chicken curry.
